As a spouse or partner, you should always be there to support your significant other. Being supportive can come in many different forms, and sometimes it isn’t just about wrapping an arm around them. Here are 18 things every supportive spouse should do.
Encourage Your Partner
You should always celebrate any achievements that your partner makes. For example, relationship coach Genee Stazzone via LinkedIn writes, “When your partner accomplishes something significant, express your genuine admiration and pride.” Always offer verbal support and recognition, and make sure you have a transparent understanding of their life goals.
Share Dreams and Ambitions
It’s important to discuss your lifelong goals with your spouse so you can focus on your aspirations together. Always show genuine interest in what they love to do so that you can support their growth. You should always help your partner or spouse achieve their dreams, and they should do the same for you.
Lighten Your Partner’s Load
If your spouse has a lot going on personally, there may be things you can do to lighten their load, even if it’s something as small as doing more chores around the house. Performing acts of service will make their lives easier. Ensure they have time to relax and can give themselves some self-care.
Provide Space for Unwinding
Sometimes your spouse needs some time alone, and you should allow them to have this time. For example, Bustle writes, “If you’re both open and comfortable about your respective needs for solitude, that’s a good sign.” You shouldn’t take it personally if your partner wants some alone time.
Practice Understanding
Always try to be empathetic toward your spouse’s needs and any pressures they may face. Avoid any unnecessary arguments, especially if it’s over minor inconveniences. Sometimes, these things can be resolved by simply communicating with one another. Try your best to acknowledge any sacrifices that your spouse makes or the efforts they put in.
Inquire About Their Day
It’s important to always show interest in your spouse’s day, even if it’s a usual working day. Always listen attentively to what they say, as this shows you really care. Remembering small details about things they’ve shared with you may even help in the future, for example, when it comes to planning events.
Apologize When Necessary
Plantation Relationship Counseling writes, “A proper apology helps the spouse to be able to release any hurt and resentment that they felt.” You should always own up to your mistakes, and when apologizing, ensure that it’s sincere; otherwise, there’s no point. You should then work toward not repeating the same errors.
Avoid Distractions During Conversations
When having a conversation with your spouse, you should always give them your full attention. If you’re having dinner together, put away all electronic devices so you can both engage in the day you’ve just had. It shows that their concerns are important to you, and vice versa.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins
It may be important for your marriage to schedule regular check-ins where you both discuss the health of your relationship. Using these check-ins can ensure that both of you are receiving the support you need, and you can make adjustments if not. Always keep your communication clear and honest.
Be a Patient Listener
Being a patient listener means actively listening to your spouse. Marriage.com describes active listening as “dedicating your undivided attention to your spouse, not just hearing their words but also grasping their emotions, desires, and concerns.” You should listen to your spouse without judgment and offer advice where you can.
Offer Invisible Support
If your spouse or partner is struggling, then try to offer support without making it obvious. Your spouse may still want to feel self-sufficient, but on certain occasions, they may just need a helping hand. You can use indirect methods to encourage and assist your partner, such as offering to prepare dinner.
Maintain Physical Affection
Physical affection is an important part of any marriage. Always offer hugs and physical comfort to your partner. You can use touch to convey love and support. There is so much power in a physical embrace, and if your spouse is having a tough day, sometimes it’s all they need to feel a little better.
Compliment and Appreciate
If your partner or spouse changes their appearance, you should notice and verbalize this by telling them how great they look. For example, Regain writes, “A compliment doesn’t cost anything; it does not have to take a whole lot of time to administer, yet it can do wonders to boost your spouse’s self-confidence and satisfaction in your marriage.”
Encourage External Support Networks
Your spouse shouldn’t just rely on you to be their support network. Encourage them to seek advice from friends or relatives and be supportive if they want to spend time with them. Other people may be able to offer support in ways that you can’t, which shows just how valuable having a diverse support system can be.
Offer Judgment-Free Help
Make sure you support your spouse without showing any criticism. You should never belittle their ideas or feelings, as it can come across as patronizing. Always try your best to be open to whatever they say. If they’re divulging something to you, then offer help in a way that still respects them.
Develop Advanced Listening Skills
Eagle Family Ministries writes, “Empathetic listening demands your full focus on your spouse’s message. Listening on this level will create healing and bring you closer together. It helps your spouse feel heard.” This type of listening helps you show genuine interest in their experiences.
Sidestep Nagging, Especially During Health Challenges
If lifestyles have to change, for example, due to health challenges, then try to approach this with tact and understanding. Healthcare professionals can even help reinforce important actions by providing alternative methods for chores. Make sure you’re managing your own stress so you don’t feel the need to nag about unnecessary things.
Accept Help From Others
You should always allow friends or family to assist, especially if certain situations are beyond your control. Try to recognize the value of community support and let people help your spouse where they can. It’s important to try to balance caregiving with personal well-being.