Have you noticed that some people find it hard to appreciate others or admit their mistakes? Chances are, they might have narcissistic tendencies. Narcissists usually have trouble with empathy and owning up to their actions, which makes it hard for them to say certain things sincerely. Here are 19 things you will never hear from a narcissist.
I was wrong
Narcissists rarely say, “I was wrong.” Psychology Today explains that these people see themselves as the innocent party, and admitting they were wrong would mean apologizing. They usually blame someone else or ignore the problem altogether, as it’s a way for them to keep feeling good about themselves.
You were right
Narcissists hardly ever admit someone else is right. Saying “You were right” doesn’t happen because they like to feel superior. For them, admitting someone else was correct means acknowledging that the person was better or knew more in that situation.
I’m sorry for what I did
It’s not common for narcissists to genuinely apologize. So you won’t hear the words “I’m sorry for what I did” from a narcissist anytime soon. They tend to avoid saying sorry for their actions because it might make them seem less in control. They usually only apologize if they see a personal benefit.
Your feelings matter
Narcissists often overlook other people’s feelings. They don’t usually say, “Your feelings matter,” because they are mostly focused on themselves. Unfortunately, anyone else’s feelings are irrelevant to them, including yours. Seeing someone else’s feelings requires empathy, which narcissists don’t have.
Let’s do what you want
A narcissist never puts someone else before themselves. They don’t say, “Let’s do what you want,” as they prefer to control outcomes as they like. PsychCentral says that they are usually motivated by what would best serve themselves. They would only suggest doing what you want if it’s also what they want.
I need help
Asking for help is not a narcissist’s strong point. They never say, “I need help” because they want to appear all-powerful and in control at all times. Admitting the need for help feels like showing weakness, and this is something they cannot bear.
Thank you for helping me
Narcissists often take help for granted and rarely show thanks, so saying a simple “Thank you for helping me” means they need someone, which they want to avoid at all costs. Instead, they often act as if successes were due to only their efforts, ignoring help from others.
I understand how you feel
Understanding someone’s feelings means showing empathy, something narcissists struggle with. They rarely say, “I understand how you feel,” because they focus mainly on their own feelings. Their inability to feel and show empathy means that they don’t have any idea how you feel, or care.
I love how you see things differently
Narcissists need everyone to agree with them. Saying “I love how you see things differently” is never going to happen because it means valuing another’s opinion which might oppose theirs. In their world their opinion is right and if yours is different, then you’re wrong.
Can you teach me how to do this?
Admitting they don’t know something and asking for help, like saying, “Can you teach me how to do this?” is not for narcissists. WebMD states that narcissists think they know the right way, and so they prefer to appear all-knowledgeable and may even pretend to know things to look competent.
Let’s make sure everyone agrees
Narcissists often push what they want without considering anybody. Saying, “Let’s make sure everyone agrees,” is not a phrase you will hear them say. They are inherently selfish and they usually put their views and needs over everyone and everything else.
I value your independence
Narcissists thrive on control and dependence, so saying “I value your independence” contradicts their usual approach. They often prefer to be in relationships where the other person relies heavily on them, they would see your independence as a direct threat to them.
It’s okay to make mistakes
Knowing that mistakes are part of learning and growing is hard for narcissists. They rarely say, “It’s okay to make mistakes,” because they aim to project perfection and expect the same from others, making a mistake is a sign of weakness.
I’m proud of you for trying
Narcissists usually focus on results, not effort. They rarely say, “I’m proud of you for trying,” because they value achievement and success over the process of trying and possibly failing.
How can I make it up to you?
Offering to make amends, like saying, “How can I make it up to you?” means accepting that they have done something wrong and this is impossible for a narcissist. They avoid accepting any blame, as it requires admitting fault and showing real care for someone else’s feelings.
This was all my fault
Taking full responsibility, especially when things go wrong, by saying, “This was all my fault,” is something a narcissist just would not do. They love taking credit but not responsibility, so they will put the blame elsewhere or reshape the narrative to make sure they always look good.
I never thought of it that way
Narcissists like to believe they have all the answers and that they know everything. Saying, “I never thought of it that way,” makes it seem like someone else offered a new, possibly better perspective, which they would never accept openly.
What do you need from me?
Narcissists usually keep everything focused only on their needs, never asking, “What do you need from me?” This phrase suggests a want and desire to support others, which is no part of a narcissist’s inner narrative, as they only prioritize their own desires.
I’m proud of you
A narcissist would never use the phrase “I’m proud of you” as this is giving credit to another person and not keeping themselves in the spotlight. They either want to take the credit for themselves or minimize whatever you’ve done to inflate their ego.