It’s so important to have strong boundaries in a relationship – even with someone that you really love. Boundaries are the sign of a secure and healthy partnership. Here are 19 boundaries that should always be respected in a relationship, no matter what.
Checking Messages
Your partner should respect that your phone and your computer are private. This means no snooping around your Whatsapp, no checking your emails, and no looking over your shoulder while you’re texting. Huffpost says that snooping is “a violation of your partner’s privacy and a breach of trust” – that’s red flag territory.
Time for Self-Care
We all need some time to look after ourselves sometimes, even in a relationship. You should never be made to feel bad for taking the necessary time to yourself, even if doing so means stepping back and taking a bit of time away from relationship duties.
Alone Time
Sometimes, it’s just nice to have some time alone, right? In a relationship, your partner should understand that it’s healthy to have some alone time and should allow you to have that space without making you feel guilty. Achieving this is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries cover so many things – from physical touch to not being interrupted when talking. You’re most likely to have a good idea of your partner’s physical boundaries if you have open communication, good listening skills, and mutual respect for each other.
Emotional Boundaries
You should be able to get really comfortable expressing your feelings to your partner without worrying that they’ll be dismissive or hurtful. If this boundary seems to be getting a little muddy in your relationship, it might be a sign that you need to seriously think about whether it’s healthy to stay.
Social Interactions
Psychology Today says that having good friends outside of your relationship is actually a sign of how healthy your partnership is. That’s why it’s so super important to nurture and maintain friendships, even when you have a partner. If your significant other acts weird about this – I’m afraid that’s a red flag.
Family Relationships
Your partner might absolutely love spending time with their family, or they might have a more difficult relationship with them that needs careful management. Whatever the situation, having your partner’s back when it comes to their family relationships and respecting their decisions is the only healthy approach.
Communication Expectations
How do you feel when your partner takes a day to respond to your text? Is that an acceptable amount of time for you, or do you require more frequent communication? The important thing here is being able to talk openly about your expectations and reach a compromise based on mutual understanding.
Past Relationships
Past relationships shouldn’t come into your current partnership. That means your partner shouldn’t be comparing you to their ex or bringing up ways that their past relationship was better. There should also be no secret communication with any ex-partners – that’s totally crossing a line.
Financial Boundaries
If you want to keep your money separate from your partner’s, that’s totally cool. According to The Guardian, “shared finances are no longer the default – even when living together.” You might decide to have a joint bank account to pay bills, but that doesn’t mean that you must combine all your finances.
Equal Decision-Making
You shouldn’t find that decisions are often made for you in your relationship. If you’re not getting a 50/50 say on what’s going down, then something’s up. When it comes to major life decisions, you and your partner should sit down together, talk things through, and find compromises.
Work/Life Balance
Beware the partner who makes you feel guilty for being committed to your work! As long as you are not overworking yourself and are maintaining a good work/life balance, you shouldn’t have to fight with your partner when it comes to work. They should respect your decisions and support your achievements.
Cultural and Religious Boundaries
Different cultures have different routines, customs, and practices, but this shouldn’t cause any issues in a healthy relationship. Again, the key is communication, communication, communication! Supportive partners will be accommodating and understanding, showing a desire to learn from each other.
Respect for Each Other’s Health
It’s your partner’s role to have your best interests at heart without trying to force anything onto you. This means encouragement when it comes to healthy eating, without bullying or criticism. Similarly, if you’re ill, are you confident that your partner will support you without overstepping? These are the signs of healthy boundaries.
Respect for Career Goals
If your partner isn’t on board with your career goals, PsychCentral says this could result in either the end of your relationship or your career – yikes! As you can see, it’s super important for you and your partner to speak openly about what you want and find ways to compromise.
Keeping Secrets
You probably share things with your partner that you don’t want anyone else to know, so you want to make sure they can keep a secret – right? Having a high level of trust and confidentiality is key between couples; if this doesn’t exist, they might go telling everyone your deepest thoughts and feelings.
Freedom to Choose
You’re still an individual, even in a relationship. If you want to wear that yellow shirt you love, even though your partner doesn’t like it, that shouldn’t be a problem! Relationships shouldn’t take your freedom, though you might have to compromise sometimes – you can’t always go play golf instead of help with housework!
Future Boundaries
Is there something you and your partner have agreed on for the future? This shouldn’t change unless there has been an open conversation about it between the two of you. In a relationship, you both need to know where you’re headed and be happy with the decision.
Intimacy Levels
We’re all different, and it’s very likely that you and your partner have different expectations when it comes to intimacy and affection. Make sure there is a high level of understanding and trust between the two of you so that no one oversteps this important boundary.
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