19 Characteristics of People Who Always Play The Victim

Written By Lisa Marley

Do you know someone who always feels like the world is against them? These traits can make life challenging not just for the person who plays the victim but for everyone around them. Spot those who often think they are the victim in most situations with these 19 characteristics to look out for.

They Always Point the Finger Elsewhere

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People who often play the victim seem never to take the blame themselves. If they arrive late, it’s because the bus was slow, or their alarm didn’t go off, never because they didn’t plan ahead. This can be quite frustrating for people around them who see what’s really going on.

They Don’t Like to Apologize

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Apologies can be rare from someone who plays the victim. Even when it’s obvious they’ve made a mistake, they find ways to shift the blame. This unwillingness to take responsibility can strain or even break relationships because it stops them from fixing issues and moving forward together.

They Feel Powerless

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People can often feel like they are powerless, however,  WebMD suggests that someone who has a victim mindset would feel this way. They behave as if every bad thing happens to them and there’s nothing they can do about it. It is a way to avoid acting on their problems and to gain sympathy.

Always Looking for Pity

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Individuals who adopt the victim mentality are always looking for pity from others. They share stories of their troubles, hoping for constant reassurance or attention. This search for sympathy can wear out their friends and family, making every conversation feel heavy and forced.

Exaggerating Their Problems

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They tend to exaggerate how bad their problems are. A small issue like a rainy day can be described as the worst thing ever. This habit of making every inconvenience into a huge issue can make others unsure as to what is a serious problem and what’s just more complaining.

Twisting the Facts

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Folks who often play the victim might twist the facts to make themselves look like the hurt party in every situation. They make up stories that make them out to be the ones who suffered, with no care to the reality. This manipulation of facts can cause confusion and mistrust among their friends.

Avoiding Taking Responsibility

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Stepping up and taking responsibility is rare for them. Psych Central states that this is a behavioral sign of someone who likes to play the victim. They avoid accepting their role in any problem, preferring instead to suggest that anything or anyone else is to blame.

Living in the Past

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Victim players often hold onto past hurts and bring them up frequently. They use past problems to justify their unhappiness or mistakes, which keeps them trapped in bitterness and feeling like the victim, making it hard for them to move forward.

They Fear Change

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Change is seen as a threat and something to fear by those who play the victim. They fear it because keeping things miserable and sad means they can continue to receive sympathy without having to improve or change anything themselves. This fear of change keeps them stuck in their ways.

Always the Underdog

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No matter the situation, they see themselves as the underdog. Psychology Today points out that they really believe that their life is harder than anybody else’s. This mindset makes them believe that they are always battling against the odds, which can be an excuse not to try to improve things at all.

They Don’t Celebrate Others’ Successes

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People who play the victim often struggle to be happy for others. When someone else achieves something, they see it as a show of their own bad luck. This jealous streak makes it difficult for them to have real friends or healthy relationships in general.

They Feel That Everyone is Out to Get Them

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They often believe that everyone is out to get them. Whether it’s at work, in a friendship, or in the family, they see others’ actions as them trying their best to undermine them. This constant suspicion cuts them off from meaningful support and conversations.

They Reject Positive Feedback

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Positive feedback or solutions to their problems are often met with criticism or rejection. They ignore helpful advice or nice comments, preferring to think only about the negative. This rejection can make them feel even more like the victim and stop things from changing for the better.

They Hold Grudges

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Holding onto grudges is common among those who play the victim. They find it hard to forgive and forget, choosing instead to stew in their anger. This can lead to long-term resentment and prevent them from healing and moving on.

They Avoid Challenges

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Challenging situations are avoided at all costs. They prefer not to push themselves, fearing failure, which they see as another chance for others to criticize them. This avoidance can stop them from improving in any way and keep them feeling as though they are stuck.

They Are Never Satisfied

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Satisfaction is hard to come by for someone who plays the victim. They often find something wrong with everything, focusing on flaws and minor problems instead of good things or progress. This continuous lack of satisfaction makes it hard to enjoy life at all.

They Overreact to Minor Issues

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An overreaction to minor setbacks is common. They might respond to small issues with extreme frustration or unnecessary sadness, making mountains out of molehills. This behavior can be draining for those around them who struggle to understand their extreme reactions.

They Believe They’re the Only Victims

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They often believe that bad things only happen to them, says Healthline, as if they are the only ones who suffer in life. This narrow view of life keeps them from seeing the struggles that everyone faces, which only deepens their sense of isolation and victimization.

They Use Guilt

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Using guilt to make others do what they want is something often used by victim players. They make others feel bad for not supporting them enough or for having their own needs and priorities. This tactic can strain relationships as it puts their issues on other people.

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