It can be tricky to spot a narcissist right away because they are often charming at first. But there are clear warnings you can watch out for. Knowing these red flags can help you avoid getting too close to someone who might be harmful, so take a mental note of these 20 signs that someone might be a narcissist.
Always Needs to Be the Center of Attention
A narcissist always wants to be the center of attention. They need everyone to look and listen to them. If you notice someone always steering conversations back to themselves or getting upset if they’re not the focus, this could be a huge red flag.
Has Very Little Empathy
Notice if someone rarely shows genuine concern or has very little empathy for others’ feelings. A narcissist often struggles to really understand or care about what other people are going through. This lack of empathy is a big, obvious sign.
Thinks They Are Better Than Everyone
A narcissist thinks they are better than everyone. PsychCentral says that they believe they’re special and can only be understood by certain people who are special, just like them. They might talk about their own achievements a lot and put other people down; they think they are the main characters in everybody’s lives.
Craves Admiration and Praise
Watch out for someone who needs constant admiration and praise. Narcissists want you to admire them all the time. They may get irrationally upset or angry if they don’t get the compliment or praise they think they fully deserve.
Very Sensitive to Criticism
Even a small critique can upset a narcissist, as they are unbelievably sensitive to criticism. They might react with anger or maybe even try to get back at the person who criticized them. They just can’t handle any suggestion that they’re not perfect.
Envious of Others
A narcissist may seem to portray that they have it all, but they often feel jealous of other people. They are not capable of being happy with others’ successes and might try to make themselves look better by putting others down, states CNBC, warning that being condescending is a major red flag.
Feels Entitled
Narcissists really believe they deserve special treatment. They think that the rules don’t apply to them, and they should get whatever they want, whenever they want, without having to work for it like everyone else, purely because of who they are.
Mood Swings
Mood swings can be a sign of many things, but narcissists’ mood often changes based on how much attention they’re getting. If they’re not the center of attention, they can quickly go from very happy to very upset in the blink of an eye.
Refuses to Take Responsibility
A narcissist never admits they’re wrong. They will blame everyone and everything else except themselves. Even when it’s clear and completely obvious that they made a mistake, they will find a way to justify shifting the blame to someone else.
Holds Grudges
A narcissist holds onto grudges and bad feelings, seeks revenge, and struggles to forgive and forget. They play the victim and feel wounded; they are always the martyr, but if you dare to suggest that’s how they are behaving, they are horrified and play the victim even more.
Exaggerates Achievements
Be cautious if someone always appears to be exaggerating their accomplishments to make them sound bigger than they really are. Narcissists will happily lie to make themselves look better, which provides them with a feeling of superiority. Psychology Today explains that constant deceit would be a clear sign of narcissism.
Needs Constant Validation
If someone needs you to validate everything they do, they might be a narcissist. They look for constant assurance that they’re the best at everything, right, smart, and good-looking. If they can’t find this validation, it puts them in an instant bad mood.
Manipulative Behavior
Narcissists are experts at manipulative behavior. They know just how to control situations and people to get exactly what they want, and often, without care for the feelings of others, they will trample over anyone who gets in their way.
Gaslights
Gaslighting is the hallmark of a narcissist. They will try to rewrite your recall of any negative events that involve them. They will do their utmost to convince you that what you remember is wrong and try to make you feel terrible for suggesting something about them that is not perfect.
Ignores Boundaries
If someone doesn’t respect your personal space, time, or feelings and ignores your boundaries, they might be a narcissist. People like this often ignore what you want if it gets in the way of what they want because, to them, the only thing that matters is what they want.
Unrealistic Expectations
Narcissists have unrealistic expectations; they want people to go out of their way for them as they believe that their wants and needs should be at the top of everyone else’s agenda. They are angry and disappointed when things don’t go exactly as they want.
Takes Advantage of Others
Prevention points out that narcissists often take advantage of people to get what they want, and they don’t think about what’s fair. They focus only on how they can benefit and what you can provide for them. If you have no value to them, a relationship with you is pointless in their eyes.
Quick to Anger
Narcissists can get angry very quickly, especially if they feel disrespected, ignored, or if you dare to confront them about any of their behavior. Their anger can be intense and sometimes scary. This is known as narcissistic rage, and it can be quite scary to be on the receiving end of it.
Talks Over Others
A narcissist will very often talk over people. They don’t listen; they are just thinking about the next thing they want to say and impatiently waiting for their turn to speak again. Whatever you say is either boring to them, or they have something they feel is much more important to discuss.
Can’t Have Long-Term Relationships
Narcissists often have difficulty with long-term relationships. They might have a history of friendships or romantic relationships that didn’t last because of their behavior. Few people can bear to go the distance with someone who exhibits these types of behaviors.
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