Has anyone ever said that they think you’re selfish? If it’s something that you’ve heard more than once, there might be a bit of truth to their words. To find out for sure, here are 19 signs that show you’re more selfish than you realize.
You Lack Empathy
PsychCentral points out that people who lack empathy often behave in selfish ways because they don’t even realize how other people are feeling. You might dismiss other people’s emotions or find it difficult to care about them. If this sounds like you, it’s time to work on improving your empathy levels.
You Interrupt Others
No one likes being interrupted, and if you’re the one doing the interrupting – this might be a sign that you’re selfish. Sure, occasional interruptions sometimes just show enthusiasm, but if you frequently cut people off, dominate conversations, and don’t care what others have to say… it’s not looking good.
You Focus on Your Own Needs
How often do you stop to consider how your actions affect others? While it’s true that we all need to put ourselves first sometimes, if you constantly prioritize yourself over the well-being of others and expect people to accommodate you all the time, this sounds a little selfish.
You Don’t Listen
During conversations, how often do you find yourself focusing on what you want to say next instead of listening to what the other person is saying? This isn’t a great sign – it shows that you think what you have to say is more important and is a clear indicator of selfish behavior.
You Take Credit for Others’ Work
No one likes it when someone else takes the credit for their work, and it’s a pretty selfish move, too! When you work in a team, do you think you acknowledge the contributions of each person, or do you feel that you had the biggest part to play in the project’s success? The latter is a bit of a red flag.
You Rarely Apologize
Selfish people have a hard time apologizing, so if that sounds like something you struggle with – pay close attention! You might shift the blame instead of accepting responsibility or find very half-hearted ways to say that you’re sorry. According to Refinery29, you should avoid empty apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
You Insist on Special Treatment
Selfish people often make a point of insisting on special treatment – this might mean having the best seat in the cinema, the biggest portion of food at dinner, or the most attention at a family event. If you don’t get your way, you might even throw a tantrum.
You Expect Constant Praise
Sure – we all love to be praised; naturally, it’s nice to feel like we’ve done something well. However, if you expect people to be giving you praise all the time and feel mad when someone misses an opportunity to praise you, this is veering into selfish territory.
You Ignore People’s Boundaries
Thinking that your wants and needs are more important than other people’s boundaries is a clear sign of selfishness. Forbes shows that boundaries are incredibly important for well-being, self-esteem, and building healthy relationships. The lesson: don’t ignore people’s boundaries!
You ‘One Up’ in Conversations
‘One-upping’ is where one person always tries to show that they’ve done better than the other person in a conversation – it’s not a good habit! If you always need to shift conversations back to your experiences and opinions and use phrases like “Oh, you did that? Well, I did this…!” then you might be guilty of one-upping.
You Lack of Gratitude
If a friend drives miles to pick you up from the airport, do you feel grateful, or is that simply what you expect to happen? You might be showing signs of selfishness if you take other people’s kindness for granted, and this is especially true if you never reciprocate the favor.
You Use People
Taking advantage of people and making friends simply to gain something from the relationship is selfish behavior. Especially if you drop people when they don’t serve your purpose anymore. This might sometimes get viewed as ‘hustling’ or ‘climbing the ladder’, which has become oddly socially acceptable, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.
You’re Too Competitive
Everyone likes to feel like a winner – we get it, it’s a good feeling! But if you’re viewing every single interaction as some sort of competition that you need to win, and you get jealous when other people experience success, then this should be setting off alarm bells.
You Rarely Compromise
According to VeryWell Mind, selfish people “may have a hard time compromising and doing things someone else’s way.” This means that instead of compromising, you probably expect others to come around to your way of thinking. And if they don’t? Well, that’s too bad.
You Expect Others to Fix Your Problems
Are you someone who relies on other people to come along and fix problems that you’ve created? This shows a lack of appreciation for the value of other people’s time, especially if it’s happening often. Try to take more responsibility for your actions, and work on solving problems by yourself first.
You’re Not Supportive
Showing loved ones that you support them is key to having healthy relationships. This means being there for people when they’re going through a hard time and offering encouragement for people to achieve their dreams. If you’re falling short on this, make a conscious effort to be more supportive.
You Complain A Lot
Everyone is entitled to a little moan here and there – we’re only human, after all! But if you always focus on the negative and constantly whine about your own problems, you’ll be bringing some seriously bad vibes to every situation. Soon enough, people won’t want to spend time with you!
You Hate Sharing
Remember in the heat of the COVID-19 pandemic, when everyone started hoarding toilet tissue? Yeah, that was pretty selfish behavior. If you’re selfish, you probably hate sharing, don’t consider the needs of others, and get annoyed when asked to contribute in group settings.
You Act Entitled
If you get annoyed when people don’t go out of their way for you, be aware that this is a sign of selfish behavior. It comes from the belief that you always deserve to be the center of attention, and unfortunately, that’s just not the way the world works!
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