17 Common Traits of People Who Lack Empathy

Written By Lisa Marley

Empathy is crucial for understanding and relating to others. It allows us to treat people kindly and helps us connect with those experiencing things we haven’t. Here, we look at 17 common traits of people who may lack this ability.

Struggling to Understand How Others Feel

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Emotion helps us express how we feel. BetterUp says expressing your emotions improves social well-being and strengthens relationships. If someone struggles to recognize and understand others’ feelings, they may lack empathy and act confused or indifferent when someone expresses their emotions.

Self-Centered Attitude

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Empathy-lacking individuals often prioritize their own needs and desires. It doesn’t matter who they hurt or use, they find ways to manipulate others and get what they want. Most of the time, they don’t even see it as selfish and feel no remorse; rather, they think they deserve it.

Can’t Handle Criticism

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Taking criticism is hard for those who struggle with empathy. They tend to get defensive or upset when someone offers them feedback, which makes it hard for them to grow and improve. It can also make it tough to get along with people trying to help them.

Difficulty Maintaining Relationships

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Relationships require give and take. To make it work with another person, you have to be willing to compromise and consider what they want as well. You also need to be understanding of what they might be going through and sympathize even if you’ve never experienced it, which requires empathy.

Insensitivity to Social Cues

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It’s reported that most communication between people is nonverbal. Therefore, it’s vital to pick up on social cues like how people react, their body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. If someone lacks empathy, understanding these social dynamics can be challenging.

Difficulty Apologizing

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Taking responsibility for a mistake and apologizing doesn’t come easily to non-empathic people. They rarely admit fault or express regret. If anything goes wrong, they find a way to rationalize it or blame it on someone else.

Poor Listening Skills

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Robert Half says active listening is one of the biggest signs of respect. Paying attention when someone is talking is considerate even when you might not be so interested in the discussion. Those who lack empathy usually aren’t good listeners. They may interrupt or dismiss others during conversations, causing frustration and making them feel unheard.

No Genuine Connections

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Forming deep relationships is tough for people who lack empathy because they struggle to understand others. Their connections usually remain on the surface, lacking true emotional depth. This superficiality leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation, as they’re unable to create strong bonds with others.

Judgmental and Critical Attitude

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No one is perfect, as we all have different experiences in life. Even when two individuals face a similar situation, it affects them differently. Some people may quickly judge others without understanding their perspectives. They see things as they expect them to be and are very critical of anyone who deviates from them.

Lack of Emotional Responsiveness

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Even when something is not happening to you, you should have the ability to feel for someone else. Those who don’t have that capability may not react emotionally to situations that typically provoke strong feelings. Their responses will usually seem flat or indifferent.

Inability to Share in Others’ Joy or Sorrow

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According to Medical News Today, people are social beings and sharing experiences promotes joy and motivation. For centuries, celebrating our happiness or sorrows has been a great way to connect and bond with others. However, some individuals may not feel happy about others’ successes or sad about their losses which could be a sign of no empathy.

Difficulty Understanding Boundaries

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Respecting privacy and personal space is crucial, but it can be challenging for those who lack empathy. They disregard what others want or ask if it doesn’t comply with what they believe or want. This causes discomfort and conflict in both personal and professional relationships.

Manipulative Behavior

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If you have no regard for how anyone else feels, it makes it easy to use anyone to get what you want. Individuals with no empathy might use others to achieve their own goals with no remorse. They use deception and manipulation tactics because they can’t relate to how it is hurtful.

Inability to See Different Perspectives

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Seeing things from other people’s viewpoints is hard for people without empathy. They often stick to their perspective and are unable to consider other angles. This narrow-mindedness makes them seem rigid and unapproachable. They don’t relate with anyone who challenges them, making it difficult to have healthy relationships.

Overly Rational Thinking

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People who lack empathy tend to focus just on logic, ignoring emotions. This can make them seem detached and unfeeling as they prioritize rational thought. However, it’s important to consider both logic and emotions for balanced decisions and relationships.

Lack of Compassion

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Verywell Mind describes compassion as the ability to act on your emotions as well as those of others. This enables you to treat others well and with consideration. For someone who has no empathy, situations that don’t apply to them may have no effect. They’re straight-up indifferent to the suffering of others.

No Interest in Others’ Lives

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To build deep relationships, you need to be genuinely interested in people’s lives. However, those lacking empathy often don’t show much interest in others and tend to focus conversations on themselves, making it hard to connect on a deeper level.

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