Unfortunately, not all childhoods are perfect, and this can result in lasting effects that persist into adulthood. In this article, we’re going to look at 18 of the most common traits of those who had bad upbringings and some of the reasons behind why they happen.
Difficulty Trusting Others
Childhood trauma often manifests as difficulty in trusting others. This can stem from early disappointments or betrayal from a figure of trust, such as a parent. A strong reluctance to open up in relationships is a direct consequence of this.
Fear of Rejection
A fear of rejection often requires therapy in order to overcome it, with building self-worth being an important step. This particular trauma may be rooted in past experiences of abandonment and can cause someone to avoid new relationships and opportunities.
Emotional Numbness
According to the Newport Institute, childhood trauma has been linked to dissociation later in life, which includes emotional numbness. This is a form of protection against overwhelming feelings during childhood and can persist into adulthood, resulting in difficulty connecting with others.
People-Pleasing Behavior
A survival tactic resulting from the need to resolve or avoid conflict in a bad household, people-pleasing behavior can continue long into adult life. This trait can be considered negative as it leads to people ignoring their own needs and desires in favor of someone else’s.
Hyper-Vigilance
Hyper-vigilance can occur when growing up in a home with emotional abuse and neglect. As a result, people who have experienced this are constantly alert and find it difficult to relax, often leading to exhaustion and anxiety. Therapy has been shown to help reduce these heightened responses.
Strong Work Ethic
A double-edged sword, those with difficult upbringings can react to it by throwing themselves into their work. This strong work ethic can indeed be useful in life, but it can also result in burnout if not managed. It’s important for these people to balance work with relaxation.
Difficulty with Emotional Regulation
Victims of trauma or abuse as children can have difficulty regulating their emotions throughout their lives. This can involve mood swings or shutting down what they’re feeling entirely and stems from never learning how to handle complex emotions as a child.
Overthinking
Chronic overthinking can be a result of difficult childhood experiences, according to Psyclarity Health, which are usually rooted in the fear of making mistakes. Overthinking in life can lead to difficulty in making choices, and sometimes, not being able to make a choice at all.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Often caused by having boundaries either ignored or never having them to begin with during childhood, this leads to difficulty asserting oneself and saying no, even when it’s important to do so. As a result, many adults find that boundary-setting skills need to be practiced and developed in order to live a happier life.
Subconscious Self-Sabotage
A deep-seated belief of unworthiness can take root from childhood trauma and can lead to the sabotage of a person’s own success. People who suffer from this affliction may not even be aware they’re doing it, and therapy may be needed to uncover and address these destructive patterns.
Protective of Loved Ones
Having faced hardships in their past, people with bad childhoods are likely to want to shield others from pain and difficulty. Of course, this can lead to overprotectiveness and boundary issues, so balancing this with the independence of others is important.
Realism
Having a tough time as a kid can lead to a pragmatic outlook on life. This can come from facing harsh realities in childhood, which results in people having to grow up quicker than most. This has its positives but it can veer towards pessimism if not careful.
Challenges Expressing Anger
The CPTSD Foundation explains that anger can be repressed in dysfunctional homes, which can result in difficulty expressing it later in life. A possible cause of this is the punishment given to angry outbursts during childhood. Healthy expressions of anger are crucial, and therapy is available to assist in understanding this.
Unyielding Spirit
Strong resilience and determination can be forged from a hard childhood. This early adversity can encourage someone to become unflinching in their convictions, potentially achieving success in life as a result. However, this same unyielding spirit can push someone too far, and they may end up ignoring their own limits.
Dependence on Substances
Bad childhoods and the environments that they took place in can adversely affect someone’s entire life. If someone has access to drugs early on, they may develop a dependence on them, using them as a coping mechanism for childhood pain.
Avoidance of Conflict
Avoiding conflict can be caused by trauma at an early age. Bad memories of conflict as a child can result in someone choosing to avoid it at all costs. This unresolved childhood issue can bring some positive benefits but also has serious downsides.
Difficulty Being Vulnerable
Willow Counseling says that a fear of vulnerability can be developed during childhood through either a bad home life or bullying. Regardless, this can inhibit close relationships and stunt personal growth. This difficulty can be helped by building trust with a friend or partner and realizing that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
Need for External Validation
A constant need for external validation can be an unfortunate consequence of childhood trauma or abuse. This may lead to someone depending solely on others for their sense of self-worth, which isn’t great. Fostering an internal sense of worth is important in life and this personality trait can be aided through therapy.
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