You’ve probably heard the saying that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This means that spending time with someone not only affects your mood but also your character. In this article, we look at 17 effects being friends with toxic people can have on you.
Mental Health Strain
According to Charli Health, being friends with toxic people can cause significant mental health strain, leading to increased anxiety, stress, and even depression. These relationships can leave us feeling helpless, insecure, and traumatized. This should not be taken lightly, as it can have serious consequences on your health and well-being.
Emotional Exhaustion
Toxic friendships will leave you feeling exhausted because you’re always dealing with drama and manipulation. Friends who are toxic don’t know how to be direct and often opt for games and tricks to get what they want from you. Some might even start drama for absolutely no reason.
Negative Impact on Self-Esteem
The people you spend time with can have a huge impact on your self-esteem. Toxic friends often belittle you and make you doubt your worth. The American Psychology Association found that “positive social relationships, social support, and social acceptance help shape the development of self-esteem in people over time across ages 4 to 76.”
Increased Stress Levels
Constant fights with toxic friends will leave you feeling stressed. In addition to the fights, you’ll likely feel a huge need to meet their ridiculous expectations. These feelings never go away, and you’ll always be in a state of fear of being judged or criticized.
Isolation from Supportive Friends
Toxic friends often isolate you from supportive friends, making you feel more alone and disconnected. In some situations, they might even say negative things about the people in your life, so you start to push them away. Once they have you isolated, they will have complete power over you.
Poor Physical Health
We’ve known for a while that mental health and physical health are closely related. Toxic friendships can lead to stress-related illnesses and a lack of motivation to maintain healthy habits. WebMD says that physical health and mental health are so closely interlinked, with many conditions of the mind being linked to chronic illnesses like diabetes.
Difficulty Trusting Others
Being friends with toxic people can make it difficult to trust others, as their manipulation and lies lower your ability to trust. This is especially true when friendships with toxic people end. You’ll have a fear that everyone you meet in the future will treat you the same way. If you don’t work on this, you could end up alone.
Neglected Personal Growth
It’s very rare to find toxic friends who encourage you to work on yourself for the better. Many of them will actually do the opposite; they’ll encourage or even force you to take part in damaging habits like drinking or using drugs. At the very least, they will stunt your growth.
Emotional Manipulation
People who don’t know how to handle their own emotions will try to make you responsible for how they feel. Some of the tactics they use are gaslighting and guilt-tripping. Guilt-tripping is straightforward, but gaslighting can be harder to detect. According to Healthline, some of the signs of gaslighting include denying or scoffing at your recollection of events, expressing doubts to others about your feelings, and calling you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your concerns.
Decreased Productivity
The constant distractions and emotional drain from toxic friendships can decrease your productivity and focus. If you’re in school, you’ll find it hard to find time to study as you spend most of it catering to your friends’ needs. If you’re working, you might find it hard to concentrate due to emotional fatigue.
Poor Decision-Making
It should be no surprise that the decisions we make highly depend on the people we spend our time with. Toxic people will pressure you to make choices that benefit them, even if these go against your judgment and intuition. Additionally, you might make impulsive decisions due to the stress these friends put on you.
Compromised Values and Beliefs
As your sense of self starts to diminish, you might find yourself compromising your values and beliefs. For instance, a toxic friend might encourage you to cheat on your partner on a night out, even though this is something you wouldn’t do otherwise.
Loss of Personal Identity
Unfortunately, you can’t avoid the habits of others rubbing off on you. For this reason, the traits of toxic people will start to creep up on you. At some point, you might start to notice that you’re feeling lost and unsure of who you are. It might take years to get back your identity if this goes on for a long time.
Increased Risk of Toxic Behavior
Toxic people have toxic behavior—there’s no surprise to this. If you let this behavior into your life, you’ll start to behave just like them. If you find yourself surrounded by people whose behavior you can’t stand, get away from them as soon as possible to protect yourself.
Financial Strain
A good friend should understand your financial situation and never force you to spend your hard-earned money on wasteful things. On the other hand, a bad friend will disregard your finances and encourage you to spend frivolously on yourself and on them.
Undermined Relationships
With toxic people, your relationship with them comes above all others. When they feel like you’re ignoring them, they’ll make you feel guilty for it. The worst ones might even create tension and conflict in your existing relationships, so you only have time for them.
Overall Life Dissatisfaction
After a toxic person has been in your life long enough, you’ll slowly start to see the quality of your life decline. You might notice feelings of unhappiness or being unfulfilled whenever you’re with them and sometimes even in their absence. The people in your life should bring you joy, not take away from it. If someone goes against this rule, they need to change or leave.
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