Jealousy is often seen in romantic relationships, like going through a partner’s phone or getting into fights over friendships. But it can also happen among friends, family, and coworkers. Here are 17 signs that someone might be very jealous.
Everything is a competition
To a highly jealous person, life is a competition, and they want to win. They will turn even casual situations into competitions. Bustle tells us that their need to always come out on top can strain relationships and make social interactions stressful for everyone.
They constantly compare themselves to other people
Jealous people often make comparisons between themselves and the people around them based on relationships, success, or appearance. These comparisons frequently give people the impression that they are being unfairly treated in life, regardless of their own achievements.
Negative reactions to other people’s success
Have you ever had a person tell you something like, “She may have a great job, but she didn’t get there by hard work, if you know what I mean, wink wink”? Jealous people will downplay or dismiss others’ achievements as unimportant or undeserved and tend to respond with bitterness or sarcasm when someone else experiences success.
Excessively checking up on partners
A sure sign of sign of jealousy in relationships is when one or both parties excessively check up on a partner’s activities or social media. Unfounded accusations of cheating or flirting are also common manifestations of jealousy. According to SELF, this will destroy any sense of privacy and freedom in romantic relationships.
Possessive and clingy behavior
A jealous person may be overly clingy in relationships, friendships, and family life, demanding a lot of time and attention from those around them. They may also show a strong dislike or distrust of their family’s and friends’ other relationships, feeling threatened by them.
Bad reactions to criticism
A jealous person may take any criticism as a personal attack. They respond to criticism with defensiveness or anger, taking any negative feedback as an attack on them. This is because they have difficulty accepting personal flaws or mistakes due to their jealous nature.
Gossiping and rumor-spreading
Spreading gossip and bad-mouthing people is often the way a jealous person will undermine others whom they are envious of, according to Psych Central. This never goes well, and the impact of their actions on others’ reputations and their own social standing always comes back to bite them in the end.
Sabotaging and undermining others
When someone is jealous, they might actively undermine others’ efforts to make themselves look better or feel better in comparison. They may also interfere in projects to either sabotage them or try to take credit for other people’s work.
They cannot stand being given advice
Jealous people hate when other people try to help or guide them. They might reject advice or offers of help from others, perceiving it as criticism or an assertion of superiority. This unfounded resentment can lead them to self-sabotage, as they isolate themselves from useful guidance or support networks.
They resent other people’s happiness
Contented and self-aware people are happy in themselves and proud of their achievements. They don’t need to look outward for approval, and so they are happy for others, too. But jealous people don’t appreciate when others around them are genuinely happy or celebrating and may refuse to participate in celebrations or gatherings.
They try to upstage others
We’ve all heard stories about women (usually someone’s mother) who wore a wedding dress to their daughters’ or sons’ weddings. This seems excessive, but it does happen. Milder examples are those people who have done everything first, been everywhere first, and get paid way more than you do. We all know one of these people.
Secretive about their achievements
Unless they were the first person to walk on the moon or climb Everest, jealous people wouldn’t reveal too much about their achievements, hiding their successes to avoid drawing attention or comparison from others. This is because we all project our own personalities onto others and expect them to act like us.
They keep score
Jealous people love to get one over on others and might keep a mental tally of who has done more in a relationship, using it as leverage. Like, “I gave you seven presents for your birthday, but you’ve only given me three for mine.” This can make their relationships feel transactional, based on what each person brings to the table.
Victim mentalities
Because a jealous person will always look begrudgingly at what life has given others, they frequently see themselves as victims in scenarios where they feel overshadowed or outperformed. This will make them blame external factors or other people for their own feelings of inadequacy or failure.
Struggle to show happiness for others
Jealousy can overshadow any feeling of happiness for others, so if jealous people do show it, it is often forced and fake. their happiness for others is often forced or non-existent, overshadowed by their own feelings of jealousy. This will make their congratulatory efforts come across as insincere or minimal… because they are.
Bad reactions to other people’s good news
When people dislike others, they might react negatively or with muted enthusiasm to the good news shared by the people around them. Even worse, their responses will often redirect the focus back to themselves and their achievements or struggles.
An anxious attachment
This is a persistent fear in relationships involving jealous people. A jealous person may be concerned that their partner doesn’t really love them and will abandon them, says Psychology Today. This makes them very clingy and insecure, and ultimately, they can push their partner away.
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