The dating world is buzzing with the word ‘narcissist’ at the moment, but there is a fine line between narcissistic traits and actual ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ (NPD). Many people have elements of narcissism, but NPD is a deeper issue, and here’s how you can easily spot a narcissist.
Sense of self-importance
The biggest trait of a narcissist is that they possess an over-exaggerated sense of self-importance. HelpGuide.org says that they have an unrealistic sense of superiority and believe they are above other people. They are the main characters in every environment, and everyone else is just the supporting cast.
Narcissists are delusional
Narcissists live in fantasy land and have very delusional ideas. When reality doesn’t support their sense of importance, they will retreat to their delusions and make up self-glorifying fantasies that they truly believe. An attempt to burst their bubble from an outsider is met with extreme defense.
They require constant admiration
A narcissist is constantly in search of praise and admiration to further inflate their ego. They always want to be recognized, even for the most minor thing, and relationships with narcissist are often very one-sided in this regard. A narcissist is always in search of external validation.
Sense of entitlement
Self-entitlement is a massive narcissism trait. Since they view themselves so highly, they expect preferential treatment and for everything to fall into their lap. They feel that people should always be compliant towards them and anticipate only receiving the very best.
Most narcissists lack empathy
Putting themselves in others’ shoes is just not possible for a narcissist. They think that the world revolves around them and can’t understand things from an alternative perspective. Science Direct states that narcissists have major fluctuations in empathetic functioning and may find it difficult to consider others.
They try to intimidate you
There are two reasons why narcissists commonly try to intimidate others. Firstly, they expect everything to go their own way and will intimidate to get what they want. The other reason is that they feel threatened when someone has something they lack and they will use bullying or belittling tactics to make themselves appear more superior.
They have a victim mentality
Narcissists have a victim mentality, even in situations where they are not the victim. Small inconveniences feel like a personal insult or attack because they have such a large ego. Any knock to their ego will send them spiraling, and they will immediately play the victim.
Narcissists pass the blame
Passing the blame is common for narcissists as they will never allow themselves to be viewed as the bad guy. They simply cannot take responsibility for their own actions and will try to turn the heat on someone else. There is no accountability, and they would rather be a victim than a villain.
Controlling the narrative
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder will always try to control the narrative so that they look good. They will lie, manipulate, gaslight, and twist words to make themselves look better. According to Psychology Today, controlling the narrative is a major tactic of narcissists.
They like to exaggerate
The basic facts are never good enough for narcissists, and they will always exaggerate a story. Every situation and every event is made out to be a much bigger deal than it actually is. Whether positive or negative, things are overinflated or blown out of proportion for dramatic effect.
Vanity
Appearance is a huge deal for narcissists, and they are always incredibly vain. More than taking pride in how they look, they will be very caught up in their exterior. You may find them constantly looking in the mirror or frequently discussing how they look, and they seek compliments regularly.
Center of attention
Being the center of attention at all times is crucial to a narcissist. Even if a conversation or event is not about them in any way, they will always draw the spotlight back to them. They will dominate all social situations and ensure that they are the focus.
They’re defensive
Narcissists are very defensive, especially when it comes to taking on feedback. Constructive feedback is very hard for a narcissist to receive. According to Cleveland Clinic, narcissists will avoid humiliation at all costs and will defend or turn around any criticism.
Narcissists are competitive
All situations can be turned into a competition for narcissists. They always have to win and will strive to one-up everyone else. It may even be a silent competition, but they will certainly make it known when they reign supreme.
Schadenfreude
Narcissists take great joy in the misfortune of others. Other people’s disappointments and weaknesses only enhance a narcissist’s feeling of superiority. When they know other people are going through pain, they will feel pure happiness knowing their current situation is better.
They like to manipulate situations
Manipulation is one of the most popular habits of a narcissist. They use it as a tactic to control other people and make sure they get what they want. It is very one-sided, and they will be extremely covert in the way they manipulate you, often inflating your ego purely for their own benefit.
They belittle you
Putting other people down is very common for narcissists. Not only does it make them feel better about themselves and inflate their self-esteem, but it also damages the other person’s ego enough that they will try to prove their worth and hold onto a toxic relationship.
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