Insecurity is common, and it can show up in various ways. If you know what you are looking for, this can help you understand and support those around you. Here are 20 simple ways to tell if someone is dealing with insecurity.
They Need Constant Reassurance
People who are insecure often need constant reassurance that they are valued, and WebMD says it can also cause real problems with mental health. They may frequently ask for your opinion on their looks, their work, or their decisions because they need to know they are doing okay and that you like them.
Often Compare Themselves to Others
Insecure people often look at what others have or do, compare themselves, and feel bad. They might talk about how someone else is smarter, richer, or more successful. If people are always comparing themselves to others, they won’t be able to see the worth of their own achievements.
Attention Seeking
Insecure individuals often crave attention. They might dress in a flashy way, act overly dramatic, or constantly share their achievements on social media because they need validation to feel good about themselves. If someone is always seeking attention, they may be dealing with insecurity.
They Have a Hard Time Accepting Compliments
When you give an insecure person a compliment, they might downplay it or reject it altogether by saying things like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “I got lucky.” This is because they don’t believe they deserve praise, and it makes them uncomfortable.
Overly Sensitive to Criticism
Everyone feels hurt by criticism sometimes, but insecure people take it to heart more than others. They might dwell on the negative feedback for a long time, taking it very personally. Even constructive criticism can make them feel attacked.
They Brag or Exaggerate
Insecure people might talk a lot about their achievements or exaggerate their successes, usually because they want others to see them in a positive light. Psychology Today suggests they do this as a way to prove their worth to themselves and cover up their deep-seated feelings of self-doubt.
Jealous
Jealousy is a common sign of insecurity. An insecure person might feel threatened by others’ success, relationships, or attention, and they may show jealousy by being overly possessive or by making negative remarks about the people they feel jealous of.
They Struggle with Trust
Insecure people often have a hard time trusting others. They might think that people will betray them or that they are not worthy of loyalty. This lack of trust can affect their relationships and make it hard for them to form close bonds with others.
Controlling
To feel safe, insecure people might try to control things and the people around them. They might be very particular about how things are done or get upset when things don’t go their way. This need for control helps them feel more secure in their minds.
They Overthink Everything
Those who are insecure often overthink their own actions and the reactions of others. They might spend a lot of time worrying about what they said or did and how it was perceived; this is a sign that they are constantly questioning their worth and their place in the world.
People-Pleasers
Reader’s Digest says insecure people often go out of their way to make others happy, even at their own expense, such as agreeing to things they don’t want to do or avoiding getting their own needs and desires met. This people-pleasing behavior is a way to gain approval and avoid the possibility of being rejected.
They Avoid Eye Contact
Avoiding eye contact can be a sign of insecurity. Insecure individuals might feel uncomfortable looking others in the eye because they fear judgment or rejection, so this behavior can be a way to protect themselves from feeling exposed or vulnerable.
Body Language
Insecure people often show their feelings through their body language. They might slouch, cross their arms, or fidget a lot, which indicates that they are not confident and are trying to protect themselves from negative attention or criticism.
Apologize a Lot
Someone who is insecure might apologize often, even when they haven’t done anything wrong. They might say sorry for things that are not their fault or for simply expressing their opinions. This constant apologizing is a way to avoid conflict and gain approval.
They Hold Grudges
Insecure people can hold onto negative feelings for a long time and have a hard time letting go of past hurts or forgiving others. This behavior stems from their fear of being hurt again and their need to protect themselves from future pain.
Defensive
When you point out a mistake or give feedback, insecure people might become very defensive, start making excuses, shift the blame, or get angry. This defensiveness is a way to try and protect themselves from the negative feelings of inadequacy.
Seek Approval from Others
Insecure individuals often seek approval from others before making decisions. They might ask for opinions on everything, ask what they should wear, or even seek input on major life choices. This need for approval shows that they lack confidence in their own decision-making abilities.
Put Others Down
Sometimes, insecure people try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. CNBC states that this is a clear sign of someone with high levels of insecurity making negative comments about other people’s looks, work, or choices. This behavior is a way for them to feel superior and less insecure about themselves.
They Struggle with Boundaries
Insecure people might have a hard time setting or respecting boundaries and limits. They might let others take advantage of them or try to control others to feel more secure. This struggle with boundaries shows their difficulty in valuing and protecting themselves.
They Have a Negative Outlook
Insecure individuals often have a negative view of themselves and the world around them. As a result, they might expect the worst to happen and struggle to see the positive side of things. This negativity reflects their inner turmoil and lack of self-worth.
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