We’d all like to think we’re entirely selfless, but sometimes, we do selfish things without realizing it. Even the kindest people can be self-centered because subtle actions often reveal selfishness. People form opinions quickly, so if you don’t want them to think you’re selfish, avoid these 19 behaviors.
You Dislike Sharing
Sharing is something children are taught from a young age, but many adults don’t like doing it. While nobody is entitled to your personal things, it’s selfish to refuse to share other things, like attention and time, and will sour people’s opinions of you. Sharing shows that you’re considerate of how others feel.
Struggling to Compromise
Compromise is the key to forming meaningful connections, so it’s an essential social skill. Selfish people are often stubborn because they think they know best, so they struggle to compromise with others. Compromising proves you can put others first and make sacrifices, which is selfless behavior.
You Always Make the Plans
Some people are natural planners, but you might be subconsciously selfish if you constantly decide what you do with friends or your partner. Medical News Today deduces that controlling people often take charge and do everything themselves to coerce others to follow their plans. This need to constantly control things is selfish.
You Hate Being Told ‘No’
People who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer are difficult to deal with and subtly selfish. These people usually have a high sense of self-importance and are emotionally immature. They know they can selfishly badger others to get their way, so ‘no’ is a foreign word to them.
Being Loud in Public
Loud people are often dismissed as being extroverted, but it’s selfish to frequently shout, sing, play music, talk on speakerphone, or otherwise disrupt people in public. There’s a fine line between being confident and being obnoxious; if you cross it, your thoughtless behavior will be considered selfishness.
Ignoring People
Ignoring people is rude, immature, and disrespectful. If you do it often, it’s a sign that you’re selfish. Giving someone the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic designed to help the manipulator get their way, which is a self-centered act. Politely telling someone you don’t want to talk is better than ignoring them.
Avoiding Listening to People’s Misfortunes
It can be difficult to hear that your loved ones are struggling, but lending your ear proves you care about them and want to help. If you avoid listening to people’s misfortunes, they’ll regard you as apathetic. Selfless people are always happy to listen, even if they can’t help.
Gossiping
Gossiping is a cruel pastime because it mocks an unassuming person and damages their reputation. Such a lack of respect for others is selfish, and they won’t forgive you if they find out you’ve talked behind their backs. If you think this behavior is harmless, you’re selfish and short-sighted.
You’re Impatient
Patience is a virtue, so people admire others who have it. Impatient people are usually inconsiderate and only focus on their own goals, disregarding everybody else. Being naturally impatient isn’t an excuse for selfish behavior because it’s possible to learn patience and improve your behavior.
You Hate Seeing Others Succeed
Sometimes, watching others succeed is a bitter pill to swallow because we want to be in their position, but it’s still important to be gracious. We don’t always get what we want in life, but it’s selfish to take our hurt feelings out on other people because we envy them.
Taking but Never Giving
Some people are givers, and some people are takers. Psychology Today warns that we all have the potential to operate like takers who focus on getting as much as possible from others. If you take more than you give back, you’re subconsciously selfish and not reciprocating.
You Have to Win Arguments
Nobody likes being wrong, but mature, well-rounded people can accept it. Selfish people, on the other hand, always have to be correct, so they pointlessly drag out arguments until the other person relents and ends them. If you have an obsessive need to be right, you should rectify your self-centeredness.
Constant Excuses
We’re all guilty of occasionally making excuses, but doing it frequently indicates selfishness. Making excuses because you forgot or chose not to do something shows a lack of accountability for your actions. It’s also a way of justifying your bad behavior by being dishonest for your own gain.
Your Needs Come First
While self-care is important, constantly prioritizing your needs can be selfish. If you’re in a romantic relationship or have a child, you should be able to prioritize others, but many people struggle to shake their selfish habits. Prioritizing other people is an important life skill.
Taking Feedback Personally
Constructive feedback is integral for personal and professional development, so it’s foolish to reject it. You might think taking feedback as a personal attack is immature, but it also implies that you’re selfish because you’re unable to be self-critical and think your way of doing things is the best.
Relentless Interruptions
People who interrupt often dominate conversations and stop others from getting a word in. This is what MindBodyGreen calls conversational narcissism. People dislike not being the focus of the conversation, so they interrupt to draw attention back to themselves. This is subconscious, selfish behavior that you should take stock of.
You’re Impulsive
Impulsive people frequently put themselves or others at risk because they act before they think. Self-control is a massive part of selfless behavior because it shows you can manage your emotions and consider how your actions affect other people. Acting recklessly shows a lack of regard for the rest of the world.
You’re Always Late
Good timekeeping is a way of showing other people you respect them. If you’re consistently late for work or social arrangements, you’re discourteous and show a lack of care for people’s time. Sure, there are valid excuses for occasional lateness, but BrusselsTimes emphasizes that selfishness is one of the most common reasons.
Never Asking Others Questions
Perhaps most importantly of all, successful conversation goes both ways, so it’s important to ask as many questions as you answer. Otherwise, people will think you’re trying to hog attention, which is selfish behavior. Only talking about yourself is self-centered and implies you lack genuine interest in the people you talk to.
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