20 Harmful Gender Stereotypes to Stop Teaching Kids

Written By Dave Spencer

Harmful gender stereotypes that we need to stop teaching our kids is an important topic, as these outdated ideas can limit children’s potential and self-esteem. Let’s explore 20 of the most common stereotypes and how we can encourage all kids to be their authentic selves.

Boys Don’t Cry

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Teaching boys that they shouldn’t cry reinforces the harmful idea that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness, and Psych Central reinforces that “crying can be healing… for all genders.” It’s important for boys to know it’s okay to show feelings and that doing so doesn’t make them weak.

Girls Are Not Good at Math

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A girl who is told she isn’t good at math will express self-doubt and be discouraged from pursuing STEM fields; it’s essential to encourage all children to explore interests in math and science, regardless of gender, and to support their learning and curiosity in whatever field they wish to go into.

“Boys Will Be Boys”

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Using “boys will be boys” to excuse rough or aggressive behavior teaches boys that they don’t need to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, we should emphasize the importance of respect, kindness, and accountability for all children, regardless of their gender.

You Should Be Nice and Polite if You’re a Girl

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Girls always feeling as though they should be nice and polite limits their ability to express themselves and stand up for what they believe in, which is why we shouldn’t teach that mindset. It’s crucial to let girls know that their voices matter and that it’s okay to assert themselves.

Boys Should Be Tough

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If boys are made to believe that they need to be tough at all times, this discourages them from showing vulnerability and seeking help when needed. Instead, we should encourage boys to embrace a full range of emotions and to understand that asking for support is key.

If You’re Bad at Sports, You’re a Girl

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Assuming that girls aren’t as athletic as boys can discourage them from participating in sports and physical activities. This is why it’s so important to support and encourage all children in their athletic pursuits, promoting not only physical health but also the joy of playing sports.

Boys Don’t Play with Dolls

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The idea that boys shouldn’t play with dolls reinforces the idea that caregiving is only for girls. Allowing boys to play with dolls can help them develop empathy, nurturing skills, and a better understanding of relationships, which are valuable throughout life—there’s really no downside.

You Shouldn’t Get Dirty if You’re a Girl

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Telling girls to stay clean and avoid messy play can limit their willingness to explore and engage in physical activities. It’s important to let girls know it’s okay to get dirty, encouraging their curiosity and love for outdoor adventures and hands-on experiences in the same way boys do.

Only Boys Should Be Leaders

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Expecting boys to always take the lead can put undue pressure on them and discourage collaborative skills. This is another harmful stereotype. It’s vital to teach both boys and girls that leadership is about working together, sharing responsibilities, and respecting each other’s strengths and ideas.

The More Emotional Gender Is Female

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Labeling girls as more emotional perpetuates the idea that they are overly sensitive or irrational. What we should be doing is recognizing that all children experience emotions deeply and that it’s healthy to express and talk about their feelings, regardless of gender.

Boys Should Be Independent

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Pushing boys to be overly independent can make them feel isolated and unsupported. It’s important to let boys know that it’s okay to seek help and rely on others so that there’s a better sense of community and interdependence that benefits everyone.

Girls Should Focus on Appearance

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We all know the unfair focus on appearance when it comes to women. Telling girls to prioritize their looks over other qualities can damage their self-esteem and limit their ambitions. We should encourage girls to value their intelligence, talents, and inner qualities, helping them to build confidence in all areas.

You Don’t Need to Be Nurturing if You’re a Boy

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Assuming boys aren’t naturally nurturing can prevent them from developing important caring skills; instead, we should be encouraging boys to be kind, gentle, and nurturing. This in turn will highlight the importance of compassion and empathy in building strong relationships.

Being Quiet Is Part of Being a Girl

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Girls should be encouraged to speak up and share their thoughts just as much as boys, so we shouldn’t be telling girls to be quiet. It’s crucial to teach girls that their voices are important and that they should feel confident expressing their ideas and opinions in any setting.

Boys Should Be Competitive

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Promoting constant competition among boys can create unnecessary stress and a sense of inadequacy. It’s important to teach all children the value of cooperation, teamwork, and celebrating each other’s successes so that we can have a supportive and inclusive environment across all genders.

Girls Are Not Natural Leaders

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Saying girls aren’t natural leaders can limit their aspirations and self-belief. We should empower girls to take on leadership roles, encouraging them to develop their unique strengths and lead with confidence and empathy in any field they choose.

Boys Should Only Like “Boy” Things

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Strict gender roles that are enforced about toys and activities will only serve to limit a boy’s creativity and self-expression. It’s important to allow boys to explore a wide range of interests, from arts and crafts to science and sports, without fear of judgment or ridicule.

“Girl” Things Are Exclusive to Them

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Similarly, telling girls they should only enjoy certain activities restricts their opportunities for growth and exploration. Encouraging girls to pursue any interest, whether traditionally “girly” or not, helps them to develop a well-rounded sense of self which will be important for their development, too.

You Don’t Need to Communicate if You’re a Boy

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There’s also an incorrect assumption that boys don’t need strong communication skills, while girls do, and this can hinder their personal and professional relationships. It’s vital to teach boys the importance of effective communication, too, helping them to express themselves clearly—and also develop empathy.

Girls Are Too Delicate

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One final harmful stereotype is the idea that girls are too delicate for certain tasks. Labeling girls as fragile can prevent them from taking risks and trying new things. We should encourage girls to be bold, adventurous, and resilient, supporting them in building strength and confidence to face life’s challenges.

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