We can meet many toxic people in our lives and sometimes what’s best is to cut them off before they cause us any harm. Even though it’s beneficial to us, it isn’t always easy. Here are 19 tips to help you cut someone off.
Assess the Need to Cut Someone Off
Before you decide to cut a person off, make sure it’s the right decision. For example, Psychology Today writes, “Establishing healthy boundaries can often prevent us from having to take the drastic step of totally cutting someone off. Sometimes we can salvage the relationship by changing the dynamic.”
Communicate Your Boundaries
If you feel like someone has a negative effect on your life, make sure you clearly state your boundaries with that person. Try to explain how their behavior is unacceptable and the impact that it’s having on your life. If you discuss your boundaries and they don’t listen, then you can think about cutting the person off.
Make a Firm Decision
To cut someone off, it needs to be a firm decision that you’re 100% sure of. It’s something that helps you prioritize your mental well-being and saves you from any future hurt that you’re sure is coming. Make sure you’re prepared for any resistance from the person and stay strong.
Cut Off All Forms of Communication
This means ensuring that you don’t have the person on any social media accounts. You may want to unfriend or block them from any social media activity. By doing this, there’s no way they can ever contact you. You may also choose to delete and block their number from your phone.
Get Support from Your Social Circle
Your social circle can make things easier for you and offer a distraction from how you’re feeling This is supported by Bolde, who writes, “Lean on your supportive friends during this time. Share your feelings with them, and let them provide the comfort and encouragement you need.”
Avoid Triggers
There may be places or things that are going to remind you of this particular person, especially if it was someone you were in a relationship with. The best thing to do is acknowledge these triggers so that you can ignore them. Focus on activities or going places that are going to bring you joy.
Establish a Block Party
You may want to think about asking your friends and family to remove them from social media. This means they’re completely out of your life, and your friends won’t be tempted to tell you about what they’ve been up to. Also, your friends or family won’t feel the need to check up on the person.
Focus on Self-Care
After you’ve cut someone off, you may want to prioritize self-care to ensure you’re in the best place mentally. Take some time for yourself, whether that means exploring new hobbies, following your passion, or giving yourself a relaxing pampering session.
Detach Emotionally
Emotional detachment can mean putting up an emotional barrier to maintain your stability. It can give you the perspective that you need to process your feelings and make it easier to keep them far away from your life. If you’re in the process of cutting someone off, then limit your relationship with the person.
Remember Why You Made This Decision
If you feel it starts to get too difficult, then keep in mind the reasons why you’re cutting someone off. The reminder will ensure you stay on track and prevent you from letting them cause negativity in your life. Remember, you don’t have to feel guilty about cutting anyone off who isn’t worth your time.
Stay Busy
Sometimes it helps to stay busy when cutting someone off. For example, The Cut writes, “It’s helpful to keep busy and to structure your days in the beginning, just so that you’re not wallowing all the time.” Focus on your personal growth and development during this time.
Practice Self-Belief
Always trust your reasons for cutting a person off. You wouldn’t have made the decision lightly and it would have been on your mind long before the act. Don’t doubt your decision and always stand by your choice. You should believe in your values and stand up for what’s best for you.
Communicate the Cut-Off Respectfully
For the person you’re cutting off, this act may come out of the blue for them. It means you should communicate your reason thoroughly and respectfully. Avoid blame and anger in the talk and if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can choose a public place to do it.
Deal with Reactions from Family and Friends
There may be strong reactions from your friends and family and it’s something that you should expect so that it isn’t a surprise. Always explain the reasons behind your actions and ask that they try their best to understand. You never know; they may even be happy you’ve come to this decision.
Seek Professional Support if Needed
Allure recommends that if you’re going to cut someone off, you should get at least one outside perspective from someone, such as a therapist. Speaking to a professional will help you understand how you’re feeling and address any feelings of guilt. They’ll also be able to support you through this difficult time.
Focus on What You Can Control
Try to control your reactions to the person’s behavior, even if you can’t control how they’re feeling. Try not to engage in any part of the relationship that’s going to cause you harm. Focus on yourself and your well-being during this time, as that’s something you’ll be in control of.
Be Ready for the Aftermath
You may feel lonely during the aftermath of cutting someone off. If this happens, then you can find ways to distract yourself, such as by participating in new activities or seeing close friends. You’re going to feel a variety of emotions during this time, so do what you can to keep yourself occupied.
Avoid Reestablishing Contact
It can be easy to fall into the trap of reestablishing contact with the person you’ve cut off. This is something you can’t do and you should stay firm in your decision. Cut off all communication with the person and keep reminding yourself of why you made this choice.
Set New Goals and Focus on the Future
One way to keep yourself from going back on what you’ve decided is by making new goals, allowing you to focus on your future. More importantly, that’s focusing on your future without that specific person in it. Keep looking ahead and use any extra time to focus on your goals and aspirations.
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