Money is one of the most debated topics in life, and it’s never more controversial to discuss it than when someone is in debt. It’s crucial to be sensitive to people’s feelings regarding money, so we’ve helped combine a few statements you’ll want to avoid when talking to someone in debt.
It’s your own fault for getting into debt
Being considerate and empathetic towards someone in debt is crucial for offering support and understanding during a challenging time. While debt is usually self-inflicted, there are many contributing factors to why people end up in debt.
Why don’t you just get a better job?
If only it were that simple. Many people think getting a better job is the easy route to paying off debt. However, there are many things to consider when looking for new employment, including existing commitments, childcare, and qualifications for job roles.
I told you so
Outside opinions are rarely welcome when it comes to debt, and saying this to someone shows a sense of superiority. How you run your finances is completely different from how someone else may run theirs, and you have no right to act like you’re better than them regarding the way they handle it.
Just cut back on your spending
Of course, cutting back is often necessary to pay off debt, but it’s not always as straightforward as that. They may have already cut back on absolutely everything they can and still be struggling with debt. Especially in the current cost-of-living crisis, essential expenses are extremely high.
You shouldn’t have bought that [luxury item]
Maybe not, but that’s not your call to make, so don’t make them feel bad about it. Hindsight is 20/20, and it may have seemed like a good purchase at the time. They may also not regret that purchase, so there’s no need for you to voice your opinion on it.
Why don’t you ask your family for money?
Everyone’s familial and financial situation is different, and hinting that they should ask their family for money comes from a place of privilege. Not everyone is lucky enough to have family money that they can fall back on, and even if they do, they may not want to. Many people are extremely proud and prefer to manage their finances without help.
You’re being irresponsible
Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. While some forms of debt may come from being irresponsible with money, we can grow from this. It is also true that not all debt comes from being irresponsible—a lot of debt also comes from a place of necessity.
You need to live on rice and beans
The biggest money-management speakers in the UK often preach about living on rice and beans as crucial to paying off debt. While this is not to be taken literally, it does imply that you need to cut every little expense in life while paying off debt. This may be effective but extremely restrictive.
Why don’t you declare bankruptcy?
Bankruptcy is often seen as the easy route out of debt. Debt.org says that while bankruptcy is a legal lifeline for people drowning in debt, it’s one of the least understood debt-relief strategies. It comes with a lot of complexities that last for many years, not to mention the stigma attached to it.
You should have planned better
Not everyone is privileged to have the same level of financial education. We can only work with what we know, and they may not have planned better because they didn’t know better. You can also only plan so much, and no matter how much you have your finances mapped out, life can still throw you a curveball.
I can’t believe you’re still in debt
The length of time it takes to pay off debt is completely subjective. It depends on not only the amount of debt but also interest rates and the amount of disposable income available to pay it off. It’s a longer journey for some than it is for others, and the length of time it takes should never be commented on.
Just get a loan to pay it off
A surprising amount of people think that taking out a loan is a great way to pay off debt. While debt consolidation loans can be an effective way to minimize the extra debt paid in interest, taking out debt to pay off debt is not usually wise and typically leads to a vicious cycle.
You’ll never get out of debt
You should never demotivate someone on a debt-free journey by telling them they will never get out of debt. Everyone can get out of debt if they put their minds to it, and spreading this negativity can stall their progress. Saying this to someone is often a sign that you are struggling with your own debt.
You must be living beyond your means
Thanks to the current cost-of-living crisis, more people are living beyond their means than ever before. It’s not just having luxuries in your budget that contributes; expenses now often outweigh income. Inflation and the cost of living have soared, while wages haven’t kept up.
You’re not trying hard enough to get out of debt
Paying off debt is an experience that is both physically and mentally draining, so telling someone they are not trying hard enough is very discouraging. There are so many factors involved in paying off debt. People on their debt-free journey are often hustling so much that they don’t need that negativity.
You’re just lazy
It can be easy to attribute debt to laziness, but that’s not usually the case. Debt is a highly complex matter that often has multiple factors. It is also a highly sensitive subject, so saying they’re lazy can make people feel more embarrassed than they already are.
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