Life is difficult when you’re socially awkward. It’s harder to make friends, speak in front of an audience, read body language, and open up to people. Most people who feel socially awkward want to change but don’t know where to start. Here are 18 life-changing tips to help you become less socially awkward.
Ask Questions
Social awkwardness turns the simplest conversations into exhausting challenges. To make yourself feel more comfortable, try asking questions to encourage the other person to speak more than you. This also teaches you more about them and gives you conversation starters. The more you get to know someone, the more natural you’ll feel around them.
Give Compliments
People like receiving compliments, so giving them is a great way to make a connection without seeming desperate or awkward. Try to avoid commenting on people’s looks and instead compliment things like their fashion sense, personality, and personal achievements. When people genuinely like you, you’ll both feel more comfortable.
Practice Conversations in Private
Practice makes perfect, so rehearsing conversations in private is a great way to be less awkward in public. Psych Central recommends self-talk to improve your self-compassion, regulation, and motivation. The more you get used to talking and socializing, the more effective you’ll be in front of others.
Make Eye Contact
Eye contact is incredibly difficult for socially awkward people, but you’ll feel much more confident once you nail it. Making eye contact instantly makes you seem assertive, even if you don’t feel it. A great tip for training eye contact is to focus on the eyebrows, then lower your gaze to the person’s eyes.
Listen More Than You Talk
Talking to people, particularly strangers, is one of the biggest challenges for socially awkward people. If you struggle to make conversation, try prompting the other person to talk more so you can listen. That way, you’re still engaging with them without feeling pressured to do all the speaking.
Stand Up Straight
Our body language affects how others see us and how we see ourselves. Correcting your poor posture will do wonders for your self-confidence and project a stronger public image. Hunched shoulders, crossed arms, and fidgeting hands are all awkward physical cues that deter others from socializing with you.
Recognize When You Get Overwhelmed
It’s healthy to force yourself into social situations to combat awkwardness, but that doesn’t mean you should overwhelm yourself. If it starts feeling like too much, it’s much better to politely excuse yourself and emotionally recuperate than risk going to pieces in public. There’s no shame in feeling overwhelmed by too much social interaction.
Dress to Impress
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘dress to impress’, and it’s valuable life advice. According to Psychology Today, people make judgments about us after observing us for three seconds, so your clothes do half the work in making you seem less awkward. You’ll feel more comfortable and confident in public when you love what you wear.
Listen to Motivational Music
It might sound corny to have a personal anthem, but music has many proven psychological benefits. Motivational music improves your mood, endurance, and emotional expression, so it can effectively calm social anxiety. We connect with music on a personal level, so the right songs could be just the motivation you need.
Pick Up New Hobbies
It’s easier to socialize with people you have things in common with, so picking up new hobbies is a great way to become less socially awkward. Hobbies give you a safe space to explore your personality and meet like-minded people. Your interests can change your life and introduce you to entire new communities.
Write Down Positive Thoughts
Sometimes, the best way to work through your feelings is to write them down. Writing down how you feel might make things clearer if you’re struggling to identify why you’re so socially awkward. Journaling is a cathartic hobby, especially when you’re reminding yourself of positive thoughts to increase your confidence.
Get More Sleep
Everything is harder when we’re tired. Even the most extroverted people struggle to socialize when exhausted, so what hope do socially awkward people have? Rest is crucial for your mental and physical health, so your awkwardness could be down to a poor sleep schedule. Getting more sleep will do wonders for your social battery.
Follow Breathing Exercises
Social awkwardness quickly escalates into full-blown anxiety, which can make being in public unbearable. Verywell Mind recommends following the 4-7-8 breathing method, inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds to relieve stress and anxiety. This will help you get control of your social anxiety.
Exercise More
Exercise is one of the best ways to improve your mental health, so it’s surprisingly effective in helping you become less socially awkward. It boosts self-esteem and helps clear your mind of all the things you’re anxious about. This big lifestyle change will give you more energy and confidence to socialize.
Push Yourself Further Each Time
Becoming less socially awkward means putting yourself in situations that usually make you uncomfortable, but you don’t need to rush into them. Instead, try easing yourself in and building from there. For example, if you ask one question in conversation the first time, ask two the next time. Slowly but surely, you’ll become less awkward.
Always Carry a Distraction
Using your phone in social situations is usually frowned upon, but having it handy can actually help you be less socially awkward. If you’re alone in a social situation and don’t want to stand around awkwardly twiddling your thumbs, having a distraction like your phone or a book can help you look casually busy.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care is essential for good mental health. The more you care for yourself, the better you’ll perform in public. If social situations make you feel awkward and stressed, taking some time for self-care will help you relax and get into a better state of mind to challenge your social awkwardness.
Fake It Until You Make It
Sometimes, becoming less socially awkward takes time, so there’s no shame in faking confidence until you feel it for real. The key to becoming more comfortable in social situations is practice. Faking confidence until you develop it forces you to work until you’re no longer socially awkward.
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