Are you trying to work out if there’s a narcissist in your life? Although everyone is a little different, there are many traits that are present in most people with narcissism. Here are 19 things that will show if someone is narcissistic.
They Lack Empathy
One of the most widely reported traits of narcissistic people is that they lack empathy. This means they won’t be able to recognize how other people are feeling and will probably act dismissively even if someone needs their help. As Psychology Today puts it – “narcissists prioritize their feelings first”.
They Always Need Admiration
Narcissistic people often believe that they are the best at everything, and they also need those around them to constantly recognize how amazing they are. You’ll often see narcissists constantly seeking out praise or getting annoyed when they’re not the center of attention.
They’re Power Hungry
Narcissists are complicated people – they can be quite insecure at their core, which is something they try to mask by gaining more and more power. Narcissists often fantasize about ways to get success and power, which is something that can consume them.
They Act Entitled
If you ever try to tell a narcissist that they aren’t going to receive any special treatment, you can probably expect a tantrum. They believe they deserve to be treated differently and that everyone should just do as they say.
They Take Advantage of People
A particularly ugly trait of narcissistic people is that they take advantage of others so that they can get what they want. They’ll make friends based on how this could benefit them, and they won’t care who they hurt on the way to achieving their goals.
They’re Arrogant
A lot of narcissists are very arrogant, driven by a high opinion of themselves. They’ll look down on people and treat those around them as inferior. However, it’s still possible to be a narcissist without being arrogant – The Swaddle writes that some narcissists are more timid – so don’t rule them out!
They Envy Others
If you’ve spent any length of time with someone who has narcissistic traits, you’ll probably have noticed how envious they get of others. Narcissists are constantly bitter when other people enjoy even the slightest bit of success – they certainly aren’t good at being supportive!
They Hate Being Criticized
Don’t expect a narcissist to take criticism lightly – they’ll normally get very defensive, no matter how small the thing is that they’re being criticized for. This is a defense mechanism that would have been learned by the narcissist in childhood.
They Must Be in Control
Having a family member or romantic partner who is a narcissist can be really difficult because of how controlling they are. It’s common for them to use guilt and blackmail to control a situation and get extremely angry if someone challenges their authority.
They’re Manipulative
Many narcissists are masters of manipulation; they know exactly how to spin a situation to get what they want. Gaslighting is common with narcissists, as is using emotion to get what they want. They might also threaten you in order to get their own way.
They Struggle to Maintain Healthy Relationships
It’s not surprising that narcissists struggle to maintain healthy relationships, given that self-centered behavior is one of their key traits. They generally lack the skills required to communicate effectively, and they often refuse to compromise whilst seeking to control their partner.
They’re Very Charming (At The Start)
There’s a reason why narcissistic people have a reputation for being very charming – they really know how to turn on the charisma when you first meet them. You’ll find that narcissists are extremely engaging when you first get talking, but they can start to get manipulative once a relationship is formed.
They Don’t Have Close Friends
Narcissistic people often use relationships to get what they want and then leave, so it’s not surprising that they don’t have many close friends. They might still seem to have a lot of friends around them, but on closer inspection, these will all be quite superficial relationships.
They’re Obsessed with Status
Status and power are central to a narcissist’s world. They often judge people based on how much money they have and their position in their careers. It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to surround themselves with people who would be considered traditionally “successful”—it makes them feel more powerful and important.
They Act Superior
According to VeryWell Health, acting superior is a common trait of narcissists, though it can also point to someone having a ‘superiority complex’ instead. The difference is that those with a superiority complex won’t need constant external validation, whereas narcissists will.
They Monopolize Conversations
Have you ever been talking to someone and noticed that the topic keeps getting steered back to their life? Not only does this make for a pretty boring chat, but it could also show that the person is a narcissist. They get an extra tick if they never ask anything about you.
They Don’t Accept Responsibility
When you start to realize that, no matter what goes wrong, there’s one person who will never take the blame – you might start thinking that they’re a narcissist. You could be right, too – narcissists will always blame others for their mistakes and won’t accept any responsibility in arguments.
They Lie a Lot
Pinocchio and narcissists have a lot in common – they lie a lot. Narcissistic people will tell lies about anything if it helps to maintain their image; they’ll often make up stories to impress others and will say whatever they need to if it helps them get ahead.
They Don’t Do Favors
If you need a hand, don’t rely on your narcissistic friend. People with narcissistic traits are well known for refusing to do favors, even if they expect others to do things for them. A lot of the time, they’re totally oblivious to the fact that they could even offer to help.
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