Toxic people are cruel, destructive, and exhausting to deal with. They manipulate and put others down, and their actions only hurt those around them. Whether it’s from a friend, partner, family member, or colleague, you should never put up with these 19 toxic behaviors.
Lying
People who lie all the time are incredibly toxic because they make it difficult to trust them. Their ability to spin a false story comes scarily naturally to them and allows them to manipulate people. When you confront a pathological liar, they’ll often deny it, making it impossible to deal with them.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is terrifying because it’s designed to emotionally manipulate a person into believing it’s not happening. People who gaslight others aren’t just toxic; they’re emotionally abusive. Verywell Mind warns that discrediting and distracting you, rewriting history, and minimizing your feelings are signs of gaslighting that should make you run.
Name-Calling
Calling people names is childish, but it’s also cruel. If you disagree with somebody or confront them about something they’ve done and they call you a name, they’re showing they don’t respect you. Children can be taught not to call people names, so you should distance yourself from adults who do it.
Poor Communication
Sometimes, people are bad at communicating but make an effort to work on it. That doesn’t make them toxic. Poor communication becomes toxic when someone uses it to get their way and force others to dance to their tune. Communication makes or breaks a relationship, so don’t let yourself be messed around.
Bullying
Most people think of bullying as something that happens to children at school, but it also happens frequently to adults in the workplace, in the home, and in relationships. If somebody regularly intimidates, mocks, humiliates, or threatens you, they’re a bully, and their behavior is toxic and unacceptable.
Silent Treatment
People who regularly give others the silent treatment do it to maintain control of a situation and make the other person feel bad. Cleveland Clinic warns that emotionally abusive people often use the silent treatment to shame, punish, and manipulate others. They lack self-awareness and think they’re doing nothing wrong.
Gossiping
Gossiping seems harmless when you’re in on it, but when people are laughing at and spreading rumors about you, you realize it’s actually toxic. Someone who gossips about others to you will also talk badly about you behind your back to others, so it’s safer to detach yourself from them.
Blame Shifting
Being able to take responsibility for your actions shows maturity, so it’s a bad sign when someone can’t do it. People who shift the blame are toxic because they always have to be right, even if it means destroying their relationships. Nothing is ever their fault and they can’t be convinced otherwise.
Disloyalty
By showing loyalty to someone, we prove that we’re on their side. Somebody who is disloyal has no respect for you and could be using you. For example, a partner who cheats on you wants the benefits of your relationship but doesn’t mind hurting you. It’s emotionally exhausting and you shouldn’t accept it.
Mind Games
People who play mind games enjoy acting like puppet masters in other people’s lives. They’re psychologically manipulative and always have an ulterior motive. According to Simply Psychology, passive-aggressive behavior, placing blame, and negging are all mind games toxic people regularly play. If you notice someone doing any of them, reconsider the relationship.
Boundary-Pushing
Boundaries are integral for maintaining healthy relationships and peace of mind; that’s why toxic people push them. They understand why you’re drawing a line but see it as a goal to cross, not a boundary to respect. They pressure you to weaken your boundaries so they can manipulate you.
Entitlement
Entitled behavior gets old quickly, so it’s usually best to distance yourself from people who do it. Entitled people expect special treatment but don’t extend the same courtesy to others. They also rarely show gratitude to people who help them and play the victim when things don’t go their way.
Selfishness
We meet selfish people in every walk of life, but that doesn’t mean we should put up with their toxic behavior. Selfish people struggle to put others first, so they effectively isolate themselves. They also do whatever it takes to get ahead, even if it means stepping on others to elevate themselves.
Lack of Empathy
People who lack empathy are toxic because their internal feelings cause them to burn bridges and hurt other people’s feelings. Psych Central reports that people with low empathy regularly judge others, call them ‘sensitive’, and respond to serious situations inappropriately. They’re difficult to connect with and drain the life out of other people.
Possessiveness
Possessive behavior is regularly romanticized, but it’s actually incredibly toxic. For instance, a possessive partner can quickly become emotionally or financially abusive by trying to control everything the other partner does. If you notice someone becoming unnecessarily possessive of you, confront them, and if they don’t change, remove yourself from the situation.
Boat Rocking
There’s an online analogy that compares toxic people to ‘boat rockers’. These people see others in a stable situation and deliberately try to unsettle things, forcing people to become ‘boat steadiers’ and appease them. This bad behavior allows toxic people to control others, and they won’t stop until you refuse to cater to them.
Hypocrisy
Hypocritical behavior is inherently toxic because it is an example of ‘do as I say, not as I do’. People who tell you not to do something and then do it themselves are deceptive and often enjoy controlling others while getting away with everything. Hypocrisy is false morality and reflects someone’s character.
Threats
Being threatened by anyone is terrifying, but especially by someone you’re close to. Psychology Today teaches that narcissists often threaten those they love because they’re entitled, lack emotional empathy, and can’t see perspectives that aren’t their own. This entire cycle is toxic and you need to break away from it.
Sabotage
Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but how we react to it determines whether or not we’re toxic. You should never accept somebody trying to sabotage your success out of jealousy because they’re proving they want to see you fail. Keep people in your life who lift you up, not drag you down.