Though society has changed significantly over the past few decades, manners are still important. However, many old-fashioned etiquette rules have gone out of style, so people nowadays are considered to be less polite than generations before. There are 20 old-school manners that are so rarely used nowadays that they’re almost extinct.
Closing Doors Behind You
It seems like common sense to close a door behind you after you go through it, but hardly anyone does this anymore. Traditional etiquette states that if a door is closed and we open it, it’s courteous to close it again afterward. This stops cold air from getting inside buildings and protects people’s privacy.
No Phones at the Dinner Table
Phones may not be an old-school invention, but it’s old-fashioned etiquette not to have any distractions at the dinner table. In the past, this meant things like toys; nowadays, it means phones. The dinner table is traditionally a place to eat and have conversations, so do not ignore good company by scrolling on your phone.
RSVPing
In the past, sending an RSVP letter in response to an invitation was the done thing. Nowadays, many people receive invitations and don’t bother to respond. Southern Living says that it’s polite to respond within 24 hours to show your appreciation, even if you’re RSVPing to say you can’t attend the event.
Standing When Someone Enters the Room
Old-school etiquette was all about showing respect, so it used to be customary to stand when someone entered the room. Men, in particular, always did this when a woman entered the room. Not only did it show respect for the person, but it welcomed them into the room and conversation.
Not Pointing at People
Pointing has always been considered rude, but society doesn’t really shame it as bad manners anymore. When you point at someone, it looks like you’re gossiping about them, laughing at them, or accusing them of something. None of these insinuations are polite, but we rarely call out pointing anymore.
Pushing Chairs Under Tables
When you stand up, it should be muscle memory to push your chair neatly under the table. It shows that you intend to leave, freeing up the table and stopping the chair from jutting out into other people’s space. It’s a small action but a huge display of manners that are going extinct.
Punctuality
Being punctual is about more than being on time. It means showing respect for other people and proving you honor your commitments. Unfortunately, fashionable lateness has dampened the importance of punctuality, so most people don’t think twice about being late. Even worse, the people they’re meeting are less likely now to shame this rudeness.
Knocking Before Entering a Room
When a door is closed, it’s likely closed for a reason, so it’s basic good manners to knock before you enter. You don’t need to do this when entering public establishments, but it shows patience and respect to knock on home and office doors first. Barging in unannounced is very impolite.
Handwritten Thank-You Notes
In this age of modern technology, we rarely write anything by hand. However, there are several benefits to sending handwritten thank-you notes. Psychology Today reports that they make both the sender and recipient feel good, and people are grateful you took the time to handwrite a note. It’s old-school but socially powerful.
Eating Quietly
People with misophonia are frequently triggered by people making loud noises when they eat, but they aren’t the only ones. It’s good to showcase table manners by chewing with your mouth closed to muffle the sound and using your cutlery delicately. Sadly, table manners are pretty much out of fashion.
Dressing Up to Fly
Decades ago, it was mainly rich people who went abroad, so they started the tradition of dressing up to fly. Men wore suits, and women wore dresses and heels. Nowadays, formal fashion on planes is practically extinct, with travelers choosing comfort over style. It’s unlikely we’ll ever dress up to fly again.
Not Cursing in Public
Cursing is a lot more socially acceptable nowadays than in the past, but that doesn’t mean we should do it all the time. Some people claim it’s archaic to expect them not to curse in front of people, but it’s basic courtesy to watch your language in public out of respect.
Calling People ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’
Southerners still regularly call people ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ no matter their age as a sign of respect, but it’s rarely done anywhere else. Nowadays, nobody really knows how to address a stranger mannerly, so we often avoid calling them anything at all. Using ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ is traditional but very polite.
Disciplining Other People’s Children
Disciplining other people’s children has always been a touchy subject, but it used to be considered a collective duty to teach children manners. Verywell Family suggests it’s acceptable to step in when a child is damaging property, hurting animals, or putting themselves at risk. Unfortunately, most people now are too timid to attempt it.
Covering Your Mouth to Yawn
Modern society claims it’s bad manners to yawn without covering your mouth, so why do so many people still do it? The answer is plain forgetfulness. Nowadays, we’re less concerned about how mannerly we appear in public, so it often doesn’t cross our minds to cover our mouths when we yawn.
Calling People By Their Surnames
A long time ago, it was traditional to call people, especially men, by their surnames as a sign of respect for their family name. Nowadays, we seldom do this. But calling people Miss, Mr, or Mrs. Surname is still a sign of respect because it shows you remember their name.
Saying ‘Excuse Me’
It’s common courtesy not to barge past people, yet many people do it without thinking. It takes no effort to say ‘excuse me’, but this verbal manner is going extinct. Society moves too quickly, so some people feel they’re too busy for even the simplest manners. Refusing to say ‘excuse me’ will always be rude.
Letting People Exit the Elevator
Not only is it polite to let people exit the elevator before you enter, but it’s also common sense. When you push forward before they’re out of your way, you trap people inside the elevator and make a simple process take twice as long. Manners are all about patience, which few people have anymore.
Taking Hats Off Indoors
Taking hats off indoors has long been a tradition. The Emily Post Institute tracks it back to medieval times when knights removed their helmets to identify themselves. When you remove your hat, it’s a sign of respect for the person whose home you’re in. It might be old-school, but it’s still a nice gesture.
Respecting Authority
Respect is a crucial part of manners, but it’s a near-extinct trait nowadays. Respecting authority figures from a young age teaches us to be humble, obedient, and polite. We should challenge people who abuse their power, but we should also show respect for people like our parents and teachers who teach and guide us.
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