Divorce is an emotionally charged topic, but understanding the factors that can predict it might help couples with their relationships. While every marriage is unique, research has uncovered certain patterns and predictors that can hint at a higher likelihood of divorce – these are the 19 you should know about.
Lack of Communication
Communication is the backbone of any relationship; without it, you’re left “unsure of where you stand”, says Psych Central. Research has shown that couples who engage in negative communication patterns, such as criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt, are more likely to head toward divorce.
Financial Problems
Money is one of the most common sources of stress in a marriage. Whether it’s due to differing spending habits, debt, or financial instability, money problems can put a significant strain on a relationship. Couples who frequently argue about finances are at a higher risk of splitting.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a major predictor of divorce, too, as the betrayal of trust that comes with cheating can be incredibly difficult to overcome. Research indicates that infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, as it often leads to feelings of anger, hurt, and betrayal. Rebuilding trust after an affair is possible, but it requires a lot of effort, time, and commitment.
No Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy are vital components of a healthy marriage. A lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness and neglect. When couples do not make time for each other or fail to express affection, it can create a disconnect. This absence of intimacy often results in one or both partners seeking fulfillment elsewhere.
Constant Arguing
All couples argue, but constant, unproductive arguing can be a sign of deeper issues, and when conflicts are frequent and unresolved, they can erode the foundation of the relationship. Studies have shown that couples who engage in frequent and intense arguments are more likely to end their relationship.
Unrealistic Expectations
Entering a marriage with unrealistic expectations can set couples up for disappointment. When reality doesn’t match expectations, it can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration. Research indicates that having unrealistic expectations about marriage and one’s partner can contribute to marital problems and increase the likelihood of divorce.
Lack of Commitment
Commitment is a crucial element of any partnership; so much so, that when one or both partners lack commitment, it can undermine the stability of the relationship. Studies have found that a lack of commitment is a significant predictor of divorce; this can show as a reluctance to work on the relationship, infidelity, or a general sense of apathy.
Marrying Too Young
Another predictor can be getting married at a very young age, which can increase the risk of divorce. Young couples often face unique challenges, such as financial instability, personal growth, and changing life goals. Research suggests that individuals who marry before the age of 25 are more likely to divorce than those who marry later.
There’s No Equality
A lack of equality can lead to resentment and conflict, when one partner feels that they are carrying more of the burden or that their contributions are undervalued. This can create an imbalance. Studies have shown that relationships where both partners feel equally valued and share responsibilities are more likely to succeed.
Incompatibility
Compatibility is essential for a successful marriage, therefore couples who have fundamentally different values, interests, or life goals may struggle to find common ground. While differences can be enriching, significant incompatibilities can create ongoing tension and dissatisfaction—which may ultimately lead to a decision to break up.
Substance Abuse
Substance abuse can have a devastating impact on couples, too; it often leads to broken trust, financial problems, and emotional distress. The behaviors associated with addiction, such as neglect, dishonesty, and volatility, can make it extremely challenging to maintain a healthy relationship.
Mental Health Issues
Additionally, mental health issues can strain a marriage, especially if they are not addressed openly and with compassion. Conditions such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder can affect communication, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction. Studies suggest that untreated mental health issues can increase the likelihood of two people coming to blows.
Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
Not knowing how to resolve conflicts effectively can be detrimental, as those who struggle with conflict resolution often find themselves stuck in a cycle of arguments and resentment. Learning and practicing healthy conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening, empathy, and compromise, can help couples address issues.
Falling Out of Love
It can happen to anyone: when the emotional connection between partners fades, it can lead to a lack of interest in maintaining the relationship. You can try to keep the romance alive through shared activities, expressing appreciation, and maintaining emotional intimacy, which may help rekindle things.
External Stressors
External stressors, including work pressures, family issues, or health problems, can take a toll on a marriage, and when external factors cause chronic stress, it can be difficult for couples to maintain a positive and supportive relationship. Research shows that external stressors are a significant predictor of marital dissatisfaction.
Shared Interests Aren’t There
Having shared interests and activities can strengthen the bond between partners, so when it’s not there anymore, they may drift apart. A lack of shared interests can contribute to feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction that will only get worse over time—and might then lead to divorce.
In-law Interference
Many people understand the struggles of interfering in-laws, but if it’s serious enough, it could end a marriage altogether. Interference from in-laws can create tension and conflict in a marriage; when in-laws overstep boundaries or exert undue influence, it can lead to disagreements and stress between partners.
Unrealistic Views of Marriage
Many people enter marriage with idealized views of what it should be like, often influenced by media and societal expectations. When the reality of marriage doesn’t align with these ideals, it can lead to disappointment and disillusionment—which, of course, can then lead people to rethink the union altogether.
Emotional Support is Missing
Our final predictor of divorce can be if the all-important emotional support is missing. Emotional support is a cornerstone of a healthy coupling, and when partners do not feel supported emotionally, it can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment, which could end things for good.
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