19 Reasons You’re Still Single and Why It’s Not Working

Written By Lisa Marley

Some people search for a long time and still struggle to find a meaningful relationship. If you can relate, you’re probably wondering what the problem is. You want to find love and make an effort when dating, but it never works out. Here are 19 reasons why you may still be single.

You Choose the Wrong People

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You don’t truly know who you’re dating until you start a committed relationship with them, but if all your relationships fail, there are probably some warning signs you’re ignoring. You might be pursuing people who aren’t interested in you or trying to start long-term commitments with people who want to date casually.

You Expect Too Much

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It’s great to outline your expectations early on to avoid wasting your time, but if dating isn’t working for you, you may be expecting too much. Any new partner will balk at being asked to make a massive commitment after only a few dates, so monitor your expectations and try not to get carried away.

You Have Attachment Issues

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Getting attached to your partner is normal, but being too attached is unhealthy and intimidating. Verywell Mind highlights that people with anxious attachment issues desire connection and love but are overwhelmed by insecurity. You might be putting potential partners off if you usually come on strong.

You’re Too Shy

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Being shy isn’t a bad thing, but it can be a drawback when dating. You might still be single because you’re too shy to pursue the people you’re interested in properly. Alternatively, your shyness might make you seem aloof or uninterested, so people who like you will be less likely to approach you.

You’re Scared of Getting Hurt

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It’s good to protect yourself when dating, but you might miss your chance with the perfect person if you’re too hesitant. You’ll likely be more reserved with future partners if you’ve been hurt before. If you put up too many walls, people will think you’re not interested in a relationship and move on.

You’re Emotionally Unavailable

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It’s difficult to get close to somebody who’s emotionally unavailable because their mind always seems to be elsewhere. If you’re still hung up on past relationships, how do you expect it to work out with new partners? It’s best to stay single until you’ve conquered your emotional barriers.

You’re Awkward

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Awkwardness can be endearing, but it can also make dating more tricky. You need to have a degree of forwardness when starting a relationship so the other person knows you’re interested, so there’s not much room for awkwardness. You might need to come out of your shell more if you want to stop being single.

You Make a Bad First Impression

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First impressions are everything, especially in dating. According to Psychology Today, we instantly judge people based on things like vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. Even a tiny faux pas can cause you to make a bad first impression, which won’t do you any favors.

Your Type is Toxic

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Sometimes, you might not be the problem in your relationships. If you frequently pursue toxic people, you’ll have toxic relationships that won’t work out. When a pattern emerges, it’s time to question your type and whether that might cause your romantic woes. Re-evaluate what you look for in a partner.

You Need to Work On Yourself

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People want partners, not projects, so how you present yourself tells them what a relationship with you would be like. If you aren’t your best self, potential partners might hesitate to start a relationship with you. Working on yourself while single is best, then start dating again.

You’re Too Selective

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Being picky helps you narrow down the people you want to date and cut out those who don’t meet your standards, but being too selective can backfire. If you’re setting the bar so high that nobody can reach it, you’ll never give anybody a chance. You may also garner a reputation for being arrogant.

You Lack Confidence

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In dating, confidence is vital. Even if you’re not a born extrovert, approaching people and making your intentions clear will make you seem like the most confident person in the world. We’re attracted to confidence because it shows a person has good self-esteem, so if you’re still single, you might lack it.

You’re Too Busy

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Prioritizing your career and personal time is important, but if you want a relationship, you must also prioritize dating. Glamour reports that the time when we’re working to establish our careers is also the time we should be looking for a partner. Sometimes, life gets too busy, so you must decide what you want.

You Don’t Cope Well With Rejection

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Rejection hurts, but how we handle it says a lot about us. If you lash out at people, they’ll consider it a red flag. You’ll stay single because people won’t want to pursue things further due to how you react. Rejection is a part of life, so come to terms with that.

You’re Hung Up On Your Ex

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Sometimes, we think we’ve fallen in love with the perfect person, only for the relationship to collapse. This intense emotional pain takes a long time to get over, so you should never date new people while you’re still hung up on your ex. It’s not fair to them or you.

You’re Flaky

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The start of a relationship is supposed to be exciting and fun, so flakiness will really turn people off. You get an impression early on of how your partner will treat you, and nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t spend time with them. If you’re flaky, people will think you’re not interested.

You Rush Things

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Rushing into a relationship rarely works out, so why do we still do it? According to the New York Times, we’re prone to rush into love because feelings erupt early in a relationship and prompt us to chase them. However, if you always rush things, you’ll find yourself single more often than not.

You’re Too Over the Top

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Confidence is essential, but you need to exercise some restraint and humility, too. If you have a naturally overbearing personality, you might come on too strong and put people off. You can show your enthusiasm for your relationship without making your partner nervous and prompting them to reconsider.

You Want a Relationship For the Wrong Reasons

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Sometimes, people struggle to find meaningful relationships because they love the idea of love. When you try too hard to force a commitment, chances are it won’t become a long-term relationship because you’re not being true to yourself or fair to the people you date.

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