Empathy is so important in relationships—it helps us understand how others are feeling and judge how we should respond. Not everyone has a high level of empathy, though, and here are 20 red flags that show someone lacks this quality.
They Dominate Conversations
According to PsychCentral, when people have no empathy, they can appear pretty selfish and self-centered. For example, they’ll often just talk about themselves in conversations and won’t bother to ask questions about other people. You’ll probably notice that they interrupt a lot, too.
They Don’t Care About People’s Feelings
If someone lacks empathy, they don’t really care – or understand – how someone else is feeling. They might often say things like “You’re overreacting.” or “It’s not a big deal.” These are all phrases that are designed to minimize the problem.
They Can’t Apologize
People who aren’t empathetic will not see when they’ve done something wrong, and that means they will definitely not apologize for it! You’re more likely to see these people putting the blame onto others or onto external circumstances rather than ‘fess up. ‘
They Act Indifferent
If you’re having a bad day, or someone has upset you, and you mention this to a non-empathetic person – you’ll probably get quite an indifferent response. At best, they might try to give you a practical solution, but at worst, they’ll just be totally detached from the whole thing.
They’re Manipulative
Those who lack empathy often use other people’s emotions to get what they want – which is pretty manipulative. One of the reasons behind this is that they don’t really have a good understanding of how other people feel, so they don’t feel bad using manipulation against them.
They Struggle to Maintain Relationships
VeryWell Mind writes that people who don’t have a lot of empathy can struggle to connect emotionally with others; this can make it difficult to maintain relationships. Basically, it comes down to the fact that if someone can’t understand how others are feeling, they will find it hard to connect.
They Ignore the Needs of Others
Do you know how most people can see when someone needs a hand? People who lack empathy actually probably won’t notice if someone needs help – they’re very unlikely to ever offer to do anyone a favor. Instead, they’ll always prioritize their own needs over everyone else’s.
They Lack Sympathy
Buckle up because if you’re talking to someone who doesn’t have a lot of empathy, they’ll probably be pretty insensitive about other people’s struggles. They might make some pretty harsh comments or jokes about those who are suffering, and they’re very unlikely to ever donate to charity or anything like that.
They Don’t Offer to Help
If you have a friend who never ever offers to help – even in an emergency situation – it’s quite likely they don’t have a lot of empathy. The worst thing is, these people won’t even realize that they could offer to help – the thought doesn’t even occur to them.
They’re Judgemental
It’s no surprise that people who lack empathy are often judgemental – they don’t understand the thoughts behind other people’s actions, so they just think the worst of people. They’ll also have a pretty low tolerance threshold for other people’s mistakes, so they might lose friends easily.
They Lie a Lot
A lack of empathy makes it a lot easier for people to tell lies because they don’t have the ability to think about how this will make the other person feel. In relationships, someone who displays narcissistic qualities – such as a lack of empathy – is more likely to cheat, says Brides.
They Ignore People’s Opinions
Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of talking to someone who believes they’re right all the time? This is pretty common with people who aren’t empathetic; they don’t really care about other people’s opinions and won’t generally respect any different perspectives.
They Enjoy Others’ Misfortune
Perhaps one of the most disturbing qualities that can indicate a lack of empathy is when someone takes pleasure from another person’s failures. This might also be accompanied by sarcastic comments about how useless that person is. Not very nice at all!
They Don’t Offer Emotional Support
An inability to offer emotional support is a textbook sign that someone has no empathy. If you’re going through a difficult time, you’re probably not going to get any comfort from them, and they might even totally disengage during an emotional crisis.
They Blame Problems on Others
Most people can recognize when something is their fault, but this isn’t true for people who lack empathy! Take it as a red flag if someone avoids taking accountability for their mistakes and always says that they’re suffering at the hands of others.
They Can’t Forgive
If you know someone who never forgives, this might be a sign that they lack empathy. These people are much more likely to hold grudges and even seek revenge rather than accept someone’s apology and move on. They presume others are evil to the core rather than understanding their motives.
They Avoid Eye Contact
Ok, so avoiding eye contact doesn’t definitely mean that someone isn’t empathetic – but it could be a sign. Michigan State University explains that in conversations, eye contact shows “attentiveness and interest in what is being said.” So, no eye contact could mean no interest, which could point to a lack of empathy.
Their Expectations are Unrealistic
When people lack empathy, they often set impossible standards for others to live up to. Unsurprisingly, this means that they also criticize those around them a lot, which comes from lacking compassion and understanding for others.
They Always Need Validation
Non-empathetic people have quite a ‘take take take’ attitude to life; they always need validation, but they are unlikely to offer any supportive words back to you. Although they’re constantly seeking out praise, they don’t realize that they could also give it back to other people.
They’re Not Interested
Is there someone in your life who you’ve known for ages but hardly knows anything about you? If this is because they don’t bother to show an interest in your life or ask anything about you, then we’re in red flag territory – they probably lack empathy.
Up Next: 18 Reasons Older Men Say ‘Nope’ To Relationships
Older men embrace being alone and generally prefer spending time in solitude. They’ve had a full, so don’t criticize them for being less social! The following 18 reasons explain why older men prefer to be alone and are redefining how they experience their retirement years.
18 REASONS OLDER MEN SAY ‘NOPE’ TO RELATIONSHIPS
18 Most Dangerous Cities in the World (5 Are in America)
Across the globe, there are many places you don’t want to find yourself because of the crimes waiting to occur. Sometimes, even nature can be cruel to you. This is particularly the case in the following 18 most dangerous cities in the world, five of which are in America!
18 MOST DANGEROUS CITIES IN THE WORLD (5 ARE IN AMERICA)
18 Reasons You Feel Like You Don’t Belong Anywhere
Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere can feel incredibly isolating. We need companionship to keep us connected to the world, so if you’re struggling to form relationships and don’t feel that you don’t fit in, here are 18 reasons why that might be.