Many people struggle to date in their 50s because the current dating is geared towards younger people. There are many relationship rules that work when you’re young but shouldn’t be followed in more mature relationships. To help you navigate modern dating, here are 17 relationships do’s that become don’ts after 50.
Playing Hard to Get
Playing hard to get is a common tactic used to encourage potential partners to try harder because they think you’re not interested. However, while young people enjoy this, it’s a relationship ‘don’t’ for those over 50. If you want a meaningful, long-term relationship, avoiding mind games is best.
Moving in Together Right Away
Younger couples are often pressured to move in together quickly to show their devotion. However, after 50, you’ll already have a home and might not want to move. Psychology Today reports that older cohabitors are usually happier than their younger counterparts, so while moving in together is good for your relationship, there’s no rush.
Expecting Men to Pay For Dates
Modern society is slowly rejecting outdated dating norms, like the expectation that men pay for dates. However, these norms still exist for younger people who are new to dating. The older you get, the more you distance yourself from these rules. Women over 50 have their own money and don’t want to be reliant.
Having a ‘Type’
Most people have a type, but it can lessen our options when looking for a new partner. The dating pool is even smaller when you’re over 50, so you shouldn’t limit yourself to one type of person. Dating a variety of people could help you find your next long-term relationship.
Talking About Marriage
It’s never advisable to talk about marriage too soon in any relationship, but it’s definitely a relationship ‘don’t’ after 50. You and your partner may have both been married previously, so marriage isn’t the hot topic it is for younger couples. When things become serious, you can discuss it, but don’t feel pressured.
Settling For the Sake of a Relationship
Sometimes, young people are told not to set their expectations too high in case they never meet ‘the one’. But once you turn 50, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of going on lots of dates to find the right partner. Older singles have the luxury of prioritizing happiness, so don’t settle for the sake of it.
Using Tinder
Many people meet their life partners on Tinder, but you can use several other apps when you’re over 50. According to Woman’s World, sites like eHarmony, Elite Singles, Match.com, and SilverSingles are great options for people over 50. By narrowing your search to people your age, you’re more likely to be successful.
Acting Coy
Like playing hard to get, acting coy is another dating tactic young people use to keep their partners invested. But after 50, you don’t need to waste time playing games to attract a date or make things interesting. You should be up-front about what you want to find the perfect match.
Rushing to Introduce Your Partner to Family
If you’re dating after 50, you probably already have kids. But even if your kids are now adults, there’s still no need to rush to introduce your partner to them or the rest of your family. This doesn’t mean you lack commitment; it means you’re enjoying your relationship and adjusting to this new dynamic.
Sharing Details With Your Friends
When you’re young, dating is new and exciting, so sharing details with your friends is normal. But when you’re older, you have a better understanding of boundaries and privacy, so telling your friends all your dating stories is a big no-no. You might also have fewer single friends with whom to share details.
Taking Things Slowly
Casual dating is a great way to figure out who you like and what you want, but you’ve probably already worked that out by 50. While you shouldn’t rush into marriage or cohabitation, there’s no need to take everything else slowly when you meet the perfect person. Make the most of every second of romance.
Focussing Only On Looks
Physical attraction is an important part of romance at any age, but younger people are more likely to be superficially inclined. According to The Guardian, older people care less about looks and more about personality, so it’s a good idea to cast your net wide after 50. Anyone you meet could be the one.
Making Divorce a Taboo Subject
When you’re young and starting to date, divorce is unthinkable. However, older singles have usually been married at least once already, so divorce shouldn’t be a taboo subject. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and will help you understand your new partner better. Honesty is the key to a successful relationship.
Avoiding Political Discussions
Our political views are part of who we are, and by 50, we’ve got plenty of experience voting. That’s why it’s a huge relationship ‘don’t’ to avoid political discussions with your new partners. Don’t have serious debates, but try to gauge if you’re politically compatible. If not, you may have disagreements later on.
Never Dating Friends
We’re told all the time that dating friends is the fastest way to lose them, so young singles stick to dating strangers. However, when you’re over 50, you realize that the best relationships are based on mutual understanding and affection, things you share with your friends. Your perfect partner could have been there all along.
Believing Opposites Attract
‘Opposites attract’ is some well-known relationship advice that isn’t actually all that true. It can be a good way to meet people when you’re young, but after 50, compatibility is everything. We’re drawn to people who are similar to us, so we should seek them out to avoid wasting time.
Waiting to Say ‘I Love You’
Unfortunately, the older we get, the less time we get to spend with the ones we love. That’s why you shouldn’t feel pressured by convention to wait a certain length of time before saying ‘I love you’. If you’ve fallen in love after 50, enjoy your happiness and let your partner know.
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