Most parents are protective of their children. It’s a way of keeping them from danger and guiding them to do the right thing. Children’s brains are still developing, and it’s good for adults to provide rules that can save them from harm and bad decisions. Some parents, however, are too strict, and this article discusses 18 practices of such parents.
Excessive Rules and Regulations
According to the CDC, having rules in a family helps instill good behavior in children. But some parents’ rules are too tough. They control what a child should wear and the activities they’re involved in, punish poor school performance and leave no room for mistakes.
Limited Social Life
Most friends have a positive influence on our lives. However, strict parents limit their children’s interactions. The friends you make have to be approved, and you have to ask for permission to go out with them. Both good and bad behavior could result from the people around you, and we need to accept that.
Monitoring Your Every Move
Imagine having no freedom to go anywhere without someone else. If this is the life you had as a child, you had strict parents. Anywhere you go, they have to make sure you are with someone they approve of and check on you often. It would be no surprise if you lack a sense of independence in your adulthood.
Rarely Allowed to Make Mistakes
If you grew up in a tough home, there were severe consequences for making mistakes. You probably lived in constant fear of punishment even when you had done nothing wrong. This is very unfortunate since mistakes are how we learn how to handle life’s challenging situations.
Limited Independence
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and very protective of your child, which is why giving them independence may feel like losing control. Overseeing their schedules, food intake, and other big decisions in their lives could feel like you care and a show of love, but it limits their much-needed independence.
Overemphasis on Academics
BMC highlights that students with good academic performance get better jobs and higher incomes. In some families, grades were the top priority, above all else. If you don’t do well in school, it’s seen as a failure. You must do all your homework otherwise you can’t do any fun activities.
Strict Punishments
Growing up in a strict household can be scary for kids who can’t stay away from trouble. You’re punished very harshly, even for small mistakes. It’s either grounding, or they took away your favorite things. Worrying about the severe consequences makes you grow up feeling scared of making any mistakes or taking risks.
Lack of Emotional Support
The support of parents who use tough love is more about correcting poor behavior than understanding feelings or reasons for it. Any expression of emotions was likely ignored or dismissed. Lack of emotional support makes you feel lonely and misunderstood, struggling to cope with your feelings on your own.
High Expectations
Doing well in everything is expected in some homes with no room for negotiation. There is constant pressure to perform high in school, sports, and social activities. When you do well, it’s taken for granted; only poor achievements are recognized, and the disappointment is apparent.
Overprotectiveness
School House Day Care says independence promotes confidence and increases self-esteem. Children should be allowed to explore what they want even when it might not seem right to them. People who are strict are at times overprotective and shelter their children, limiting their opportunities and experiences.
Micromanaging Your Activities
If every part of your hobbies and interests was controlled by your parents, they were strict. They decided what you could and couldn’t do, never allowing you to explore your passions. The activities you participated in were often chosen based on what they liked, not what you wanted.
Limited Time for Fun
Strict parents often restrict leisure activities because they say no value in them. There’s time to play and do house chores. Spending time on your phone, video games, watching TV, or going out with friends is usually not allowed. Sometimes, they put rules on what you can do, even during leisure time.
Lack of Trust
Most children can make good decisions, but some people see it as reckless to trust them. Any actions they take should be approved, and sometimes, even their friends are seen as bad influences. Some adults need proof to accept anything children say, for example, talking to the other guardians if they have a school trip.
Strict Bedtime and Wake-up Routine
If your parents were very firm on bedtimes, it’s a sign of strictness. In such households, your mom, dad, or guardian probably always asked you to go to sleep at a certain time. They also woke you up even if you didn’t have any reason or anything to do.
Involvement in All Aspects of Your Life
All humans have free will, and it feels good to make your own decisions without anyone checking up on you. For a strict household, there is no room for privacy. The adults have to always know what you are doing and where you are at all times.
Controlled Social Media and Internet Use
The AACAP reports that 90% of teenagers use social media. Almost every child has an account on at least one social media platform. It exposes them to many dangers but is also a source of entertainment. Strict parents monitor internet use and put restrictions like parental controls on their children’s devices.
Emphasis on Discipline Over Understanding
There are ways to keep your child on the right path with reasoning and consideration. Certain parents see that as an ineffective way to discipline. They think children don’t need an explanation for what is going on. You must obey them even if you don’t understand their rules.
Rarely Allowed to Express Opinions
Some parents believe they’re always right, especially regarding parenting. A child can’t oppose what they say, and any argument against what they tell you is seen as disobedience. If you say what you think, it’s often seen as talking back. Most decisions are made without your input, and even when you say what you want, it is disregarded.
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