The way we’re treated as children can have a lasting effect on our behavior. And in many ways, negative childhood experiences cause us to struggle as adults. Today, we talk about the signs that you might be carrying unresolved issues from your past that need to be dealt with.
You Overthink Everything
Anxious overthinking is a habit that’s often learned in childhood and carried into our adult lives. How come? Well, PsychCentral explains that growing up in a traumatic environment can cause anxiety and that overthinking and overanalyzing are used as a way for people to try to protect themselves.
You Struggle to Trust People
Do you find it hard to put your trust in others and feel uncomfortable sharing your deepest feelings – even when building close relationships? This is one telltale sign that you’re carrying emotional baggage. It probably stems from having inconsistent or manipulative parents.
You Feel Guilty
If you notice that you feel guilty all the time, which leads you to apologize a lot or feel undeserving of your achievements, you’re probably being weighed down by childhood trauma. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re right to feel so much guilt!
You Avoid Close Relationships
We’ve all heard of the phrase ‘fear of rejection’ in relationships… but have you started to realize that it might actually apply to you? If you’re terrified of getting rejected in relationships, you probably keep your distance and prefer something casual over building something serious.
You Seek Constant Validation
Now, we all love a bit of validation from others – we’re only human, after all! But if you rely on getting praise from others and feel down about yourself when others don’t tell you that you’re doing well – that points to a deeper problem.
You Can’t Set Boundaries
Don’t make the mistake of sacrificing your dreams and your time just to please others – this behavior is typical for people who can’t set boundaries. If being a ‘people pleaser’ defines you to your core, you might have some emotional baggage to work through.
You Fear Abandonment
Having a fear of abandonment is one sign that you’re carrying around emotional baggage from childhood. This fear is often caused by having an ‘anxious attachment style’; Medical News Today says that an anxious attachment style is formed through the relationship children have with their parents and can cause insecurity in other relationships.
You Need Perfectionism
None of us are perfect, but if this is something you struggle to accept, it might be because your parents expected too much of you when you were younger. If your parents were highly critical and picked up on every little thing you did wrong, it’s not surprising that you’re always trying to be perfect.
You Suppress Your Anger
Keeping feelings bottled up can come from not being allowed to express yourself as a kid. However, it’s probably a good idea to learn healthier ways to communicate as an adult because otherwise, you might struggle with having really explosive outbursts over minor things.
You Avoid Conflict
No one likes to fight, but if you avoid arguments to the point where you simply agree with the other person just to end it quickly – you might be carrying a fear of confrontation. This can come from seeing your parents argue in childhood when you just wanted to diffuse the situation ASAP.
You’re Often Anxious
The fact that you find it hard to turn off your anxious brain might actually be because you lived through a difficult childhood. According to Psychology Today, two of the main things that adults struggle with after experiencing childhood trauma are anxiety and depression.
You Don’t Trust Yourself
Children who have a messy relationship with their parents can find it hard to trust themselves. If your parents never let you become independent and grow as your own person, you might find that you always ask for other people’s opinions before making decisions.
You Can’t Let Go of the Past
It’s not surprising that adults who went through difficult childhoods can get stuck thinking about the times their parents hurt them. If this sounds familiar – it might be time to find a therapist and start working through things. You’ll feel a lot freer when you can finally move on!
You Feel Unworthy of Love
Experiencing a difficult childhood can wreak your self-esteem. You might find it hard to believe that you’re worthy of being loved and might settle for a sub-par relationship because you think that’s all you deserve. Remember – these are feelings from childhood. They’re not the truth!
You’re Overprotective
It’s important to protect the people we love, but there’s a risk that this can lead to controlling behavior if it goes too far. If you worry excessively about your loved ones, to the point where you try to control what they do, this might be anxiety popping up from childhood.
You Can’t Express Emotions
In a lot of dysfunctional families, emotions get expressed in an unhealthy way – this often means there’s loads of shouting and arguments. This doesn’t exactly provide a good role model for children to learn from, so they often struggle to articulate how they feel.
You Have Mood Swings
Surprisingly, struggling with mood swings as an adult can be a sign of childhood trauma. VeryWell Health writes that it’s not uncommon for trauma survivors to have “overwhelming emotions” or not know why they feel sad or annoyed. Something to think about the next time you feel angry for ‘no reason’!
You Fear Being Judged
How much do you care what other people think of you? If your answer is ‘a lot’, and you constantly worry about how your actions are judged by other people, this might be because of the way your parents treated you. Overly critical parents can make their kids scared of being judged.
You Don’t Have an Opinion
When you’re at work or at a dinner party with friends, are you always surprised by how confident people are in expressing their opinions? Struggling to voice your opinion or finding it difficult to know what you think about something can point to growing up in a difficult environment.
You Criticize Yourself
We all have an inner critic who starts talking when we make a mistake; however, if yours is particularly loud and seems to talk through a megaphone so that you can’t get away – this might be a sign of emotional baggage. The likelihood is that your inner critic sounds suspiciously like your parents.
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