Social situations aren’t always easy – we all cringe sometimes when we think back to past conversations. Most of the time, it’s not a big deal, but some missteps can leave a bad impression. Here are 20 things to avoid in social situations if you want to be liked.
Not Listening Properly
According to Verywell Mind, “active listening” is really important in social situations. This means giving the other person your full attention whilst being patient and non-judgemental. As you can imagine, frequently checking your phone during conversations is not a part of active listening!
Constantly Interrupting Others
I get it – sometimes you’re just so enthusiastic to join in a conversation that you can’t help interrupting! The thing is, if this becomes a habit, you’re going to become pretty unpopular. Even if you’re well-meaning, cutting people off mid-sentence looks pretty rude.
Over-Sharing
Some people have no filter when it comes to talking about personal problems and intimate details. If this sounds like you, stop! It’s totally okay to share this kind of stuff with close friends, but if you do it with acquaintances and colleagues, you’re going to make people feel uncomfortable!
Being Arrogant
No one likes an arrogant person; it’s pretty boring to have to keep listening to someone boast about their own achievements. Instead of focusing on yourself, you should ask lots of questions in conversations and try to find out more about the other person.
Gossiping and Spreading Rumors
If Gossip Girl is anything to go by, spreading rumors definitely has the potential to land you in hot water. The biggest problem with gossiping is that people won’t trust you, which makes sense – they probably think you’re talking about them behind their backs, too.
Being Super Negative
Psychology Today has a great phrase for people who are negative all the time; they call them “energy vampires” – people who suck the positivity out of every situation. Understandably, people probably don’t want to hang out with an energy vampire, so try to keep your negativity at bay.
Invading People’s Personal Space
If you stand too close to people during conversations, are overly touchy-feely, and totally ignore any cues that you’re making someone uncomfortable, you’re not going to be popular. This is a surefire way to get yourself struck off the invite list for future occasions, so it’s something to be aware of.
Talking About Yourself
Be careful if you’re someone who rarely asks others about what’s going on in their lives or how they’re feeling. You might accidentally end up always steering the conversation back to yourself, but this is a habit that can make you unpopular with friends.
Being Judgemental
Try not to judge others too harshly or question why they’ve done something in a certain way. Reserve your scrutiny and analysis for watching crime dramas! Your friends definitely won’t appreciate it if you constantly criticize everything they do.
Being Unreliable
People want friends they can rely on, and if you’re always canceling plans at the last minute, this kind of flaky behavior isn’t going to get you another invite. Medium says that poor time management or a fickle personality can cause unreliability, but it’s important to show up when you say you will.
Not Being Accepting
It’s a big no-no to show a lack of acceptance for other people’s beliefs and points of view. If you take a stubborn stand on everything and belittle people with different perspectives, it won’t take long before people are actively avoiding you.
Focusing on Your Phone
There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who can’t stop checking their phone during a conversation. It’s just plain rude! Not only does serial phone-checking make people feel like you’re not listening to them, but you’re also going to miss out on important info.
Always Trying to One-Up Others
You’ve probably heard of ‘one-upping’ – it’s where someone keeps trying to outdo the other person. They’ll say things like: “Oh, you’ve bought a car? Well, I’ve bought a house.” – that kind of thing. Yawn – having a conversation with someone like this is totally boring.
Being Late All the Time
The Seattle Times explains that arriving late is a way of “saying to people that their time is not as important as yours.” Yikes! Unsurprisingly, this kind of attitude is not going to make people warm to you, so if you’re always tardy, it might be time to work on your time management.
Lacking Empathy
If someone tells you that they’re going through a hard time – how do you respond? Are you supportive and sympathetic, or do you try to change the subject and play down the issue? People who lack empathy are more likely to show indifference towards people’s feelings, which isn’t a great response.
Refusing to Apologize
No one likes it when people can’t take responsibility for their mistakes. There’s nothing worse than someone who blames anyone and anything before themselves. If you’re someone who rarely apologizes, that might be something people don’t like about you.
Being Rude to Service Staff
When someone is rude to service staff, it says a lot about their attitude toward other people. Many people have worked in the service industry themselves, so they have a lot of empathy for servers. If you show a lack of respect for staff, you’re not going to be popular with the people around you.
Making Inappropriate Jokes
Inappropriate jokes can make people feel so uncomfortable. That’s why it’s so important to read the room and only use humor that is appropriate to the situation. If you’re not sure – it’s probably best to skip telling any jokes; if the way you act makes people uncomfortable, they won’t stay around.
Not Being Grateful
Unsurprisingly, you’re going to be pretty unpopular if you don’t show your appreciation for other people’s kindness. Having an ungrateful attitude will make the people around you feel resentful, and they’ll probably start distancing themselves if they feel taken for granted.
Disrupting the Flow
Try not to come barreling into social situations and disrupt the flow of what’s going on around you. People tend to gravitate towards friends who are easy to hang out with – if you have a habit of pushing your own agenda on the group, that’s not a very easygoing approach.
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