In a lot of ways, your childhood is the best time of your life. But these years are not called your formative years for nothing. What happens during those years can impact your life. Here are 18 signs that you’re carrying emotional baggage from your childhood.
Lashing out at others
According to Bolde, “That’s a clue something deeper is going on”. If you are quick to anger, and your anger is disproportionate to the situation causing it (if anything did cause it!), this may mean that you have some issues that have not been dealt with.
You hate to be criticized
Being severely sensitive to criticism is a sign that you’re carrying some childhood trauma. This can start from harsh criticism at an early age, which causes one to grow extremely defensive in later years. People who are very sensitive often fear failure, leading them to respond poorly to feedback or to avoid challenges altogether.
Passive behavior
The tendency to shy away from confrontation can be traced back to childhood environments. You may avoid conflict if disagreements in your childhood were distressing, handled inappropriately, or never resolved properly. This avoidance of conflict can lead to passive behavior, where you suppress your own needs and desires to keep the peace.
You’re a people-pleaser
People who experience conditional affection in their early years may develop behaviors as adults that revolve around winning the favor or affection of others. Consistently prioritizing the needs of others over your own needs or wants can often result in bitterness and a loss of identity.
Finding it hard to trust
You find it hard to build relationships because you’ve been hurt in the past, notes Verywell mind. You question the intentions of those around you without cause and don’t believe these intentions could possibly be good. When one has had a traumatic experience in life, learning to trust again takes a lot of time.
Hyper-vigilance
Physical and mental symptoms such as sleeplessness, anger, or a persistent sense of dread are common signs of hyper-vigilance. This can come from being raised in an unsafe or unpredictable environment, which could lead someone to be constantly on guard and may trigger anxiety in situations that seem normal.
Fear of abandonment
Some insecure behaviors, including clinging to relationships or demanding frequent reassurance, may be signs of abandonment fear. These actions may result from early experiences of instability or abandonment, which can affect relationship dynamics by causing worries about friends or partners abandoning you.
Emotional numbness
If you are carrying emotional baggage from your early years, you may show signs of emotional numbness, such as difficulty experiencing joy, sadness, or love. As a safeguard against traumatic experiences as children, some people may have learned how to distance themselves from their emotions. This behavior can be hard to unlearn.
Need for control
Adults who have had a turbulent upbringing may develop control issues and become people who look for security in all aspects of their lives. This drive for control might manifest as intolerance for change, rigidity in habits and routines, or compulsive behaviors.
You minimize your successes
Some people may downplay their accomplishments, which may result from not having their successes recognized when they were younger. It is important to recognize and appreciate what you have achieved in life in order to develop a sense of confidence and self-worth.
Need for perfection
Parents and guardians can expect children to achieve success in order to deserve love. A drive for perfection in adulthood may stem from a childhood where love was conditional upon success. This can lead to adults who put pressure on themselves to always perform at a high level, which can cause anxiety, depression, and exhaustion.
Regressive behaviors under stress
When faced with a great deal of stress, some adults may respond by acting more like children, which is indicative of unresolved childhood traumas. Tantrums, withdrawal, or dependency behaviors resembling those of a much younger person are a few indications of regression.
Oversensitive to emotional hurt
Those who have suffered through childhood trauma may become more vulnerable to emotional anguish in their adult life. Some people may find even the smallest slights to be intolerable, and this can result in heightened emotional responses. This sensitivity can make social interactions difficult and relationships with friends and partners harder to maintain.
Fear of intimacy
Sharing secrets or introspective thoughts with a loved one is an example of how intimacy can be emotional as well as physical. A fear of emotional intimacy in adulthood might stem from adverse childhood experiences, according to Psych Central. Reluctance to express intimate feelings, even to close companions, is one behavior that may be indicative of intimacy avoidance.
Low self-esteem
Childhood criticism may be the source of low self-esteem in adulthood. Dealing with constant criticism as a kid might result in ongoing self-doubt and feelings of inferiority as an adult. These emotions could manifest in social anxiety, reluctance to take on new challenges, or a dependency on external validation.
You just can’t make your mind up
Being indecisive can be a sign that you fear making mistakes. This fear is frequently a result of early life events where making the wrong decision would have serious consequences. This can negatively affect your ability to make major life decisions and your ability to act independently.
Obsession with planning
An unhealthy obsession with planning every detail of your life might come from an unpredictable childhood where stability and security were lacking. There is a difference between healthy planning, which can help you manage your time and resources effectively, and obsessive behavior that limits spontaneity and enjoyment.
You need constant reassurance
Childhood rejection might result in an adult existence in which you constantly need validation from other people. Psychology Today tells us, “Research demonstrates a link between young children’s relationships with caregivers and excessive reassurance-seeking.” Look for ways to strengthen your internal validation mechanisms and sense of self-worth so that you can become less reliant on others.
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