Family dynamics are very complicated because of the responsibilities members owe to each other. However, some family members can be worse than others. Here are 18 signs that your family member might not have your best interests at heart.
Constant Criticism
Being constantly criticized can make you doubt your worth and abilities. In small doses, criticism can be a good thing and actually help us grow in character; however, negative comments, especially when you’re a child, can have detrimental effects on self-esteem and mental health.
Passive Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior often leaves us feeling confused and frustrated. According to the Mayo Clinic, some signs that someone is being passive-aggressive include subtle insults, a hostile attitude, intentional procrastination, resistance to cooperation, resentment and opposition to the demands of others, and intentional mistakes in response to others’ demands.
Disrespect for Boundaries
It feels invasive when someone repeatedly ignores your clearly set boundaries. Unless there is a really urgent issue, the people in your life should always respect your boundaries; otherwise, it will get increasingly difficult to maintain these relationships. Honestly, even in urgent situations, they should know better to give you your space.
Excessive Control
Living with someone who constantly tries to control you is not a pleasant experience. Even though your family members might have your best interests at heart, it’s not a great idea for them to try to control every aspect of your life; some might even go as far as using their authority over you to exert control.
Lack of Empathy
It’s painful to realize that a family member doesn’t empathize with your feelings. Unfortunately, it’s rare that someone can learn to have empathy if they don’t already possess it. However, you can always speak out if you feel like someone is being unempathetic to your situation.
Frequent Lying
Trust breaks down quickly when lies become a common occurrence. NBC News says that you can tell someone is lying to you if they aren’t maintaining eye contact. Be careful of family members who try to manipulate you into thinking that you are confused and not being lied to.
Unpredictable Reactions
Around toxic family members, you’re always walking on eggshells, unsure of what will set them off next. It’s honestly best to spend as little time as possible with such people. It’s not fair for you to live in constant fear about how people will react to your perfectly reasonable actions.
Blame Shifting
It’s exhausting when people never take responsibility for their actions. To make matters worse, some might even try to blame you. When this happens, sources recommend making it clear that you had no role in causing the problem and, if possible, mentioning who should be responsible.
Guilt Tripping
Toxic people will try to make you feel guilty for doing things that are justified, especially using this trick on occasions where you’ve had to put yourself before their needs. Don’t show people that by making you feel guilty, they can get away with whatever they do.
Unwarranted Hostility
Sudden outbursts of anger can be both shocking and hurtful. If someone is abruptly rude to you, be kind and ask them where that behavior is coming from. If they are unable to explain their outburst, make it clear that such behavior is not acceptable and walk away from the situation.
Manipulative Tactics
Feeling manipulated can often lead you to second-guess your own decisions. WebMD says people who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The manipulator wants to create an imbalance of power and take advantage of you.
Exclusion and Isolation
When toxic family members can’t get to you, they’ll try to make you feel excluded and isolated for making decisions that don’t align with theirs. It’s obviously very difficult when this happens, but it’s best to stand your ground and let them learn to deal with it.
Overstepping Privacy
Our families can only know so much about us, which is why many of us hide certain parts of ourselves from them. Only share with your family what you’re happy telling them. You should never feel pressured to let them know anything that you’re not ready to share.
Holding Grudges
Grudges can poison relationships over time, making reconciliation difficult. Sometimes, grudges are justified because some actions are unforgivable or at least difficult to forgive; however, such situations are rare, and most people just hold grudges for the sake of holding them.
Excessive Jealousy
Being jealous can hurt your feeling of safety and closeness with others. It’s important to notice unhealthy jealousy in the family and deal with it, to keep the family together and relationships strong. It’s normal to feel jealous sometimes, but we should try to be happy for others instead.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting can make you question your sanity and memories. It’s hard to know when you’re being gaslit, but Vox defines it as “undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings.”
Negative Comparison
A kind person would never compare someone they love to someone else; there’s absolutely no point in wasting time comparing yourself or others to people who seem to have it better in life. This is usually common for parents to do, but it only causes self-esteem issues in their kids.
Financial Exploitation
Financially irresponsible family members usually come up with tricks to get money out of you. It might seem like a small issue at the beginning, but in the long term, they can waste thousands of dollars. We recommend standing your ground when this happens and not giving in to their ridiculous demands.
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