21 Telltale Signs Someone Is Selfish

Written By Lisa Marley

Being around selfish people can be really tiring. If you’re wondering whether the person you know is actually selfish or just not great in social situations, there are some clear things to look out for. Here are 21 signs that someone is behaving selfishly.

They Dominate Conversations

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There’s actually a term for people who dominate conversations – according to Brainz Magazine, they’re known as “conversational narcissists”, which doesn’t sound great, does it? A conversational narcissist will hog the floor and constantly steer conversations back to themselves, displaying clear selfish behaviors.

They Always Prioritize Themselves

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It’s incredibly frustrating to be around someone who always puts what they want above the wants and needs of other people. Sometimes, this can be healthy, but not when it happens constantly. If someone refuses to listen to what others want, they could be selfish.

They Don’t Help Others

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Some people seem totally blind to the fact that they could help other people out, and this is definitely selfish behavior. If you know someone who avoids getting involved in group efforts or deliberately ignores ways they could help their family, this should ring alarm bells.

They Lack Empathy

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Selfish people don’t have a lot of empathy – they struggle to understand other people’s feelings, are often insensitive, and can be very dismissive of emotions. If you’ve ever had someone tell you “you’re overreacting”, they probably aren’t a very empathetic person.

They Take All the Credit

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When someone has a selfish mindset, they’ll find it easy to take all the credit, even in situations where they work in a team. As you might imagine, this is super infuriating to the people around them – but the selfish person is unlikely to even see that they have upset their teammates.

They Are Manipulative

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Now, not all selfish people are manipulative, but having manipulative tendencies is definitely one sign that someone is selfish. Manipulation and selfishness are often linked to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which, according to Medical News Today, “is a mental health condition characterized by a high sense of self-importance.”

They Always Need to Win

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How exhausting is it to be around someone who turns everything into a competition? Turns out, this can actually be a sign of selfishness; selfish people often feel like they should always be the best, and always be the center of attention.

They Don’t Compromise

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Gone are the days when compromise was viewed as a weakness; now, Medium describes compromise as a clear sign of emotional intelligence. Selfish people often lack this, so it’s no surprise that they have difficulty compromising.

They Are Ungrateful

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Do you know someone who never shows appreciation for the things that other people do for them? They probably don’t reciprocate, either. People who take kindness for granted are often selfish—they simply expect that others will help them.

They’re Stingy

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Would you believe that selfish people hate sharing? I know – shocker, right? This is often really noticeable at family gatherings; is there always one person who doesn’t buy a gift or contribute to the potluck spread? They’re sounding kinda selfish!

They Fish for Compliments

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It’s pretty common for selfish people to get upset when they don’t get enough attention, so they often try to fish for compliments to make sure they’re being noticed. They’ll love to talk about themselves and share their achievements, even if they have to derail the current conversation to do it.

They Don’t Respect Boundaries

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Is it really any surprise that selfish people don’t respect the boundaries of others? A lot of the time, they probably don’t see that other people even have boundaries. PsychCentral writes that it’s really important to build strong boundaries if you’re dealing with a selfish person – it will help protect you.

They’re Not Interested in Your Life

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If you stop asking selfish people questions, the conversation might fall silent until they decide to fill the void by… continuing to talk about themselves. It’s very unlikely that they will fill the silence by asking you anything about your life!

They Expect Special Treatment

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When someone expects special treatment, they’ll probably get mad if they’re treated the same way as everyone else – and this is textbook behavior for a selfish person. They find special occasions, particularly birthdays, really difficult because the day isn’t focused around them.

Being Unreliable

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One of the most infuriating traits of a selfish person is their unreliability. Selfish people don’t tend to think about letting other people down, so they’ll make promises they won’t keep and cancel plans at the last minute. Whereas other people might feel bad for doing this, a selfish person won’t bat an eye.

They Blame Problems on Others

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A selfish person will have no issue in throwing someone under the bus in order to save face. They’re quite happy blaming other people for their mistakes and generally avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. You’ll hear a lot of excuses from selfish people and not a lot of acceptance.

They Use Others

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You’ll find that selfish people are unlikely to do anything if it doesn’t directly benefit them. If they do you a favor, they’ll want something in return, and they might even hold this one act of kindness over you for years to come.

They Don’t Have Good Friendships

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If someone is selfish, they aren’t exactly good-friend material. That’s why it’s no surprise that selfish people don’t have a lot of genuine friendships – people get tired of their behavior and don’t stick around long. Also, because selfish people tend to keep friends just to serve their needs, they rarely develop meaningful relationships.

They’re Very Critical

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If you’ve been on the receiving end of unsolicited criticism and negativity, chances are this was coming from a selfish person. Being super critical, and focusing on people’s flaws, is selfish behavior – it shows that the person lacks empathy and sees themselves as better than most.

They Don’t Say “Well Done”

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You’ll rarely hear a selfish person congratulate anyone on something they’ve done. They’re not really focused on the achievements of others – they just want people to recognize how good they are instead. A lot of the time, selfish people will probably just be jealous when someone else does something well.

They Don’t Apologize

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It’s very uncommon to hear a selfish person apologize; instead, you’re much more likely to hear them justify why they’re right to have done what they did. This is pretty tiring when you’re just after a simple apology, and you might even find that the blame gets turned around on you instead.

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