Being nice is a good thing, right? Well, sadly, not all the time. Being too kind has pitfalls in a world where many people will rather think of you as weak or easily influenced. In our list, we share the specific downsides that come at the cost of kindness.
People Take Advantage of You
Kind people want to help others; however, this puts them at greater risk of being exploited. When you’re known for being too nice, people think you’re a pushover, so they’ll treat you like a doormat and expect favors without respect for your time. They know you’re too nice to protest.
You Make All the Compromises
Being able to compromise is an important life skill, but nobody should be making all the compromises. Psychology Today observes that people who give in are passive and want to avoid conflict, two other downsides of being too nice. Making all the compromises is unhealthy and means your needs won’t be adequately met.
You Overcompensate
Kind people also have lots of empathy, so they hate seeing other people’s misfortunes. This means they frequently overcompensate to make them feel better, which can lead to people expecting things from them all the time. If you regularly find yourself overcompensating to please people, you’re probably too nice.
It’s Emotionally Exhausting
Being kind is rewarding but also exhausting. Spending every day looking after people, doing favors for them, and checking on their needs drains a lot of emotional energy. Do you have any energy left for yourself at the end of each day? Being too nice can prevent you from enjoying ‘me time’.
It’s Hard to Be Assertive
Many people think being assertive is a bad thing because it makes you look bossy or rude, but it’s a good way to show people you’re not a pushover. Unfortunately, if you’re too nice, you become accustomed to doing what other people want. You’ll struggle to assert yourself in serious situations.
You Feel Guilty Saying ‘No’
The word ‘no’ holds a lot of power, but many people struggle to say it, especially nice people. When you feel guilty for refusing to do things for people, you make yourself responsible for their reaction. Setting boundaries stops you from becoming stressed or overwhelmed and protects against unhealthy relationships.
Bullies Will Target You
Unfortunately, bullies are everywhere. Verywell Mind warns that they usually target individuals they feel are vulnerable and won’t stand up to them. If you’re too nice, bullies might see you as an easy target. That doesn’t mean you should stop being kind, but you must also assert yourself.
Self-Care Comes Last
When you spend so much time looking after other people, you might not make time for yourself. Self-care is essential for your physical and mental health, and it’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. If you don’t, you likely won’t have adequate time and energy to be as kind and generous with others.
You Won’t Form Your Own Opinions
Our opinions help make us who we are, and nobody else can decide them for us. However, it’s hard to form your own opinions when you’re constantly prioritizing other people because you want to be nice. Being kind can also cause you to try to see the best in people when forming opinions about them.
People Don’t Respect You
Kind people deserve so much respect, but sadly, they often don’t get it. Loud, assertive people command respect when they walk into a room, whereas nice people are often quieter and don’t pay attention. If you always let people walk all over and ignore you, they won’t respect you.
You Forgive Too Easily
Forgiveness is good for the soul, but that doesn’t mean we should forgive people too easily. Even if they feel bad, you’re entitled to your feelings and shouldn’t force yourself to forgive before you’re ready. Being nice doesn’t mean you should be uncomfortable, especially if you’re the victim.
People Disappoint You
Nice people usually have a positive view of the world. Sadly, this is misguided because not everyone you meet will be kind to you, which is disappointing. Psych Central warns that having high expectations can lead to resentment and anger when people fall short. If you’re too nice, you risk becoming naive and being disappointed.
You Seem Boring
Nobody wants to be seen as boring, but that’s a label that nice people are often undeservingly assigned. We expect interesting people to do exciting, adventurous things, so when somebody is constantly calm and kind, they seem dull by comparison. People don’t take enough time to get to know them properly.
You Worry About Upsetting Others
Genuine kindness is all about prioritizing the other person’s feelings. However, if you’re too nice all the time, you probably worry about upsetting people. This may make you tiptoe around them at your own expense because you feel responsible for how they react. If they know this, they might even take advantage of your kindness.
There’s Often No Reward
While we shouldn’t be kind because we expect things in return, it feels good to be acknowledged and appreciated. Society frequently says that nice people finish last because there’s often no reward for our good deeds. Being taken for granted is tough, but it’s usually the cost of kindness.
Everything Seems Hopeless
The world is often a terrible place, and as much as we want to, we can’t fix everything about it. Being too empathetic means you’ll often feel hopeless when you can’t help people or make the world a better place.
People Will Think You’re Fake
It’s completely unfair, but genuinely kind people are often accused of being fake. Some people find it hard to believe someone can be nice and have no ulterior motive, so they automatically suspect them. This shouldn’t deter you from being kind, but people may come to the wrong conclusion about you.
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