Confidence isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we develop throughout our lives. People who seem naturally confident are that way because they’ve grown their self-worth over the years and know what they’re good at. They maintain their confidence by refusing to rely on these 18 things for self-worth.
Jobs
Unfortunately, society judges us by our jobs. People who work office jobs are seen as professional and successful, whereas servers and retail workers are considered unintelligent and lazy. Confident people know this stereotyping is ridiculous and unfair, so they don’t rely on their jobs to inform their self-worth.
Physicality
Many people struggle with self-confidence because they don’t like their bodies. Verywell Mind informs that body positivity means appreciating, accepting, and loving your body despite its size and shape. Truly confident people don’t need to meet cultural beauty standards for self-worth; they see themselves as more than their physicalities.
Romantic Relationships
People are also frequently judged based on their relationship statuses. Marriage is promoted as the ideal relationship we should all aim for, so people who don’t marry or struggle to find ‘the one’ are treated like something is wrong with them. You must be confident to disregard these societal norms and enjoy romance instead.
Material Belongings
Nowadays, people are obsessed with owning things. The more material belongings you have, the wealthier you look, which makes you more popular. People who know how to be happy without driving the newest car or owning the latest phone have fantastic self-worth because they can separate themselves from that entire charade.
Money
In a world where many people struggle to afford basic necessities, money is everything. Rich people regularly get away with things poorer people don’t because everybody admires their money. Confident people don’t need to rely on money for their self-worth, even if they’re wealthy, because it’s shallow and frivolous.
Hobbies
Our hobbies make us happy, but we shouldn’t rely on them for our self-worth. Putting too much stock into hobbies can cause you to become obsessed with making progress in order to look good. This will subsequently ruin your passion and confidence if you fail at things.
Social Media Followers
Before Gen Z got their first phones, social media had very little significance. Now, it’s inescapable. As The New York Times put it, influencers are currently taking over the world with their trendy videos. However, social media followers are notoriously fickle, so confident people don’t pay them any mind.
People Pleasing
Sometimes, a need to please people takes over us, but this often adversely affects our self-worth. Confident people know their worth outside of other people, so they have no desperation to people-please for some recognition. They know their actions will speak for themselves, and that bolsters their confidence further.
Friends
What our friends think is important to us, but we shouldn’t rely on them to inform our self-worth. It isn’t anyone else’s job to make you feel confident, and your friends may coddle you. You don’t need to compete with your friends or beg their approval to feel good about yourself.
Busy Lifestyles
Unfortunately, society equates not being busy all the time with being idle. Overworking yourself to the point of physical and mental exhaustion isn’t something to aspire to, yet many people think it will improve their self-worth. Genuinely confident people don’t feel a need to perform, so they don’t force themselves to be busy.
Houses
Our houses are usually the most expensive things we own, so they’re a massive source of pride. Owning an expensive house or multiple houses is an achievement, but flaunting your property to impress others is vulgar. Their admiration might make you feel confident, but it’s a hollow way to affirm your self-worth.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism seems like something confident people would rely on for their success, but it’s actually quite insidious. Perfectionists regularly struggle with low self-esteem because they put so much pressure on themselves. People who recognize these dangers rely on healthier habits for their self-worth.
Age
Unfortunately, ageism is still rife in society. Young people are considered more attractive and able than older people until they begin to show signs of aging themselves, and society rejects them, too. That’s why people with genuine confidence know not to rely on their age for self-worth because it doesn’t last.
Past Achievements
It’s good to be proud of your achievements, but bragging about them constantly is in poor taste. Relying on something you achieved years ago implies you haven’t achieved anything significant since and are desperate for something to boost your confidence. Ironically, people who live in the moment have much better self-worth.
Education
Getting a college degree is something to celebrate, but it doesn’t guarantee success. People who tie their self-worth to their education are frequently disappointed when they hit career setbacks. On the other hand, people who don’t rely on educational achievements to boost their egos can approach professional situations with much more confidence.
Life Milestones
We all want to reach many life milestones, such as homeownership, marriage, and parenthood. Some people reach these milestones quicker than others, but that doesn’t make them superior in any way. Confidence is all about knowing your self-worth separately from other people and focusing on your own milestones.
Popularity
Popularity is a fickle and immature concept, yet many people are obsessed with it well into adulthood. People who base their self-worth on how many friends they have or how much people talk about them sometimes experience a reality crisis when their popularity wanes. True confidence should be separate from something so superficial.
Other People’s Opinions
It boosts our confidence when other people compliment us, but it shouldn’t be a source of self-worth. Psych Central warns that caring too much about what others think harms your self-image and sparks insecurities. Truly confident people never rely on other people’s opinions for their self-worth, and their lives are better for it.
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