Visiting someone’s home should be a time to enjoy each other’s company and, if it’s your first time, take a tour. However, it also comes with a set of unwritten rules and etiquette. There are some of the things you absolutely shouldn’t do in someone else’s home, and we’ve listed them in this article.
Arriving Unannounced
Showing up at someone’s doorstep without any prior notice can be quite disruptive, not to mention disrespectful; according to Real Simple, what you call “spontaneous and fun” they call “inconvenient.” Your host might have other plans, or they might not be prepared to entertain guests. Always call or message ahead to ensure it’s a good time for a visit.
Ignoring House Rules
Every household has its own set of rules, whether it’s taking off shoes at the door, not smoking inside, or keeping noise to a minimum. Disregarding these rules can come off as disrespectful and can create unnecessary tension, so pay attention to your host’s preferences.
Overstaying Your Welcome
It’s important to recognize when it’s time to leave, as overstaying can be exhausting for your host, especially if they have other commitments or if it’s getting late. Be mindful of the duration of your visit and look for cues from your host that it might be time to wrap things up.
Being Demanding
While it’s perfectly okay to ask for a glass of water or to use the restroom, making excessive demands can be burdensome, such as asking for things that require significant effort or inconvenience. Don’t ask for them to cook a specific meal or rearrange furniture for you; being low-maintenance helps your host feel more relaxed.
Snooping Around
Curiosity might get the best of you, but resist the temptation to snoop through your host’s belongings, which includes peeking into medicine cabinets, drawers, or private rooms. Respecting their privacy is crucial to maintaining trust and ensuring a comfortable environment for them in their own home.
Bringing Uninvited Guests
Showing up with someone your host wasn’t expecting can be awkward and potentially problematic, even if they said it was okay for you to visit. Always ask for permission before bringing along a friend, partner, or even a pet so that your host has a chance to prepare.
Criticizing Their Home
No one likes to hear negative comments about their home, and this can be shocking to hear from guests; so you’ll want to steer away from making remarks about the décor, cleanliness, or size of the space. Even if you think you’re offering helpful advice, it can come off as rude and even hurtful.
Being on Your Phone Constantly
Constantly checking your phone or texting during a visit can be seen as disrespectful, as your host might wonder why you wanted to visit if you’re just going to be on your phone. It implies that you’re not fully engaged or interested in spending time with them.
Not Offering Help
If you see your host busy with preparations, offer to lend a hand; just because you’re the guest doesn’t mean you can’t help. Whether it’s setting the table, serving food, or cleaning up after a meal, pitching in shows that you appreciate their efforts and are willing to contribute yourself.
Ignoring Pets
If your host has pets, don’t ignore them or act indifferent; you should acknowledge and interact with the animals, but also respect any boundaries set by your host regarding their care and handling. It’s the pet’s home, too, after all, so show them the same respect you would the host.
Talking About Sensitive Topics
Steering clear of controversial or sensitive topics such as politics, religion, or personal finances can help maintain a light and pleasant atmosphere when you’re having a chat during a visit. Bringing up contentious issues can lead to rather uncomfortable conversations.
Making a Mess
Leaving a mess behind is one of the quickest ways to ensure you won’t be invited back; you should always clean up after yourself, whether it’s wiping up spills, putting away dishes, or tidying up the space you’ve used. Showing respect for your host’s home by keeping it clean demonstrates your appreciation for their hospitality.
Being Loud
Excessive noise can be very disruptive, especially if there are children, elderly individuals, or neighbors nearby—or even in other rooms, trying to sleep. Keep your volume in check, whether you’re talking, laughing, or playing music, or take their lead on how much noise you can make.
Showing Up Sick
If you’re feeling under the weather, it’s best to reschedule your visit; don’t worry about a last-minute cancellation, because this is much better than risking them getting sick, too. Your host will appreciate your consideration, and you can then plan a visit for when you’re feeling better.
Taking Over the Conversation
You might be excited to visit and feel like you have a right to talk as the guest, but monopolizing the conversation can be off-putting and can prevent others from sharing their thoughts and stories. Make sure to listen actively and give others a chance to speak.
Ignoring Social Cues
Pay attention to the social cues and body language of your host and even other guests; if you notice signs of fatigue, distraction, or discomfort, it might be time to wrap up the visit or change the subject. Being attuned to these signals helps you respond appropriately and paints you as a considerate visitor.
Bringing Up Personal Drama
Don’t bring up personal drama, either; sharing personal problems can create an uncomfortable atmosphere. While it’s okay to talk about your life, avoid delving into deeply personal issues that might be heavy or awkward for your host to handle. Try to keep the conversation light.
Helping Yourself Without Asking
Taking food, drinks, or other items without asking for permission can come off as presumptuous and rude, even if things look like they were laid out for you. Always ask your host if it’s okay before you help yourself to anything—it’s a simple act of courtesy.
Forgetting to Say Thank You
And when you’re ready to leave, don’t forget to say thank you; always express your gratitude for the effort your host has put into your visit. Whether it’s a verbal thank you at the door, a handwritten note, or a small gift later, showing appreciation ensures your host knows their efforts were valued.
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