When you’re all loved up, parts of your individual self can get a little lost when you aren’t paying as much attention to them. To make sure you remain whole, here are 18 things that shouldn’t take a backseat when you’re in love.
Personal Ambitions
While it may be important to show your commitment to your partner, don’t forget that you still need to show up for yourself. Your goals, whether personal or career-oriented, require just as much dedication, and sacrificing them may lead to feelings of resentment. Speak to your partner about their own aspirations to find a balance.
Financial Independence
CNBC reports that ‘four in five Americans believe that women stay unhappy in relationships due to lack of financial independence.’ In partnerships, it’s common for those involved to share everything, and that’s great! However, creating some financial distance from your other half is key to maintaining your personal security.
Personal Space
We all know the feeling of wanting to be around your loved one all the time, and while that’s healthy, your alone time should never be skipped. Even taking a few hours for yourself can do wonders for your personal growth, giving you time to reflect and engage in productivity. If you need some space, make sure that you communicate.
Beliefs and Values
Every human is different, and not all your values will align perfectly with someone else’s. It’s important to hold onto your core beliefs and never compromise, even if it causes conflict. Compatibility in these areas of the self is indicative of a long-lasting companionship.
Your Individuality
Your interests, hobbies, and style choices make up who you are, and continuously investing effort into these things will allow you to be your best self. It is common for people in love to meld together. However, as Psychology Today notes, ‘when people are in an individual state, they are happier and more optimistic.’
Other Relationships
Your friends and family love you too. Isolating yourself or breaking away from connections outside of your relationship can be detrimental to your emotional well-being, especially when you need advice or other perspectives. Maintaining strong external relationships tends to contribute to a happier and healthier romance anyway, so it’s a win-win!
Self-Respect
A lack of respect in romantic partnerships can damage a person’s self-esteem, and it won’t do you any good to sacrifice your dignity just because you love someone. The best way to protect yourself is to have an in-depth conversation with your partner, outline your boundaries, and create a safe space for when violations occur.
Privacy
No one wants to feel devoid of personal privacy; as humans, it is one of our basic needs. Any relationship in life, romantic ones in particular, will never work without trust, and so it is crucial to find ways to balance good levels of both openness and privacy.
Physical Autonomy
Your body is yours, and under no circumstances should anyone be able to claim it otherwise. There is nothing more powerful than physical boundaries to keep control over your own body. If you feel as though you are losing your physical autonomy, be open with your partner and discuss ways in which you can support each other’s comfort and safety.
Sense of Security
Does your partner make you feel perfectly supported? If you answered yes, then you’re doing it exactly right. Paired sums up the feeling of security as ‘allow[ing] you to approach everything life throws at you as a team.’ It can contribute to a long-lasting bond and keep both parties feeling secure and safe.
Mental Health
Just as vital as your physical health, you should always check in with your mind. If you struggle with your mental health, it is important that your loved ones are aware so that they can provide support when you need it. You may not realize, but when you aren’t doing well, it affects them, too.
Your Opinions
You’re open with your thoughts around your friends, right? So, there is no need to suppress them around your other half, even if you think it might be a source of tension. Healthy disagreements are normal, but you should never say yes to everything just to keep the peace.
Your Past
All the memories you’ve had and the lessons you’ve learned along the way have shaped you into the person that you are today, yet they do not define you. If your past is something that you aren’t too proud of, your partner should be accepting and should never be allowed to alter anything that fits their narrative.
Patience and Understanding
Patience is a quality that everyone should strive for. It’s particularly beneficial in sustaining a healthy romantic connection, so why sacrifice it? During challenging periods, it can be hard to keep your cool and stay patient with your other half, but take some time to foster understanding, and we’re sure you’ll overcome any obstacle.
Happiness
Being in love can make us feel as though we are the happiest we’ve ever been, but it can also bring some negative emotions. Staying in a relationship that makes you feel unhappy just because you’re worried about being alone will never end well. Always prioritize your long-term fulfillment over love.
Making Decisions
As Mental Help writes, decision-making is like a muscle; it will weaken if not used regularly. It is easy to fall into the habit of making co-dependent decisions with someone you share a life with but to maintain a sense of individuality, you need to think for yourself instead of double-checking your choices with your partner.
Your Freedom
It is not healthy when another person controls parts of us. This can include what we wear, how we choose to spend our free time, and who we spend time with. Partnerships thrive with effective communication about our needs, compromise, and balance—not when one or both parties feel trapped.
Health and Wellbeing
If you’re an active person who prioritizes taking care of your body through regular exercise and balanced eating, you should never neglect it for the sake of a relationship. To take extra care, try to encourage your partner to make good decisions and maybe even find healthy activities that you can do together.
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