Homelessness is a complex issue, and every individual experiencing it has a unique story. While it’s important to acknowledge their struggles, it’s equally important to approach conversations with sensitivity. With that in mind, here are some things you should never say to a homeless person.
“Why Don’t You Just Get a Job?”
Asking why they don’t just get a job might seem straightforward, but it overlooks the numerous barriers homeless people face when trying to secure employment. Many lack access to basic necessities like a stable address, clean clothes, or reliable transportation.
“I Don’t Have Any Money.”
While it’s understandable that not everyone can give money, telling a homeless person that can come across as a quick dismissal. Instead of making excuses, a simple acknowledgment of their presence with a kind word or a smile can go a long way.
“Stop Begging.”
The harsh statement of “stop begging” fails to recognize the complexities of homelessness and joblessness. It’s not just about wanting money; it’s about overcoming a myriad of barriers, including battling addiction or mental health issues. Such a comment can feel like an attack.
“You’re Just Going to Spend It on Drugs or Alcohol.”
Assuming how someone will spend money is unfair and judgmental, so don’t tell them they’ll just spend it on drugs or alcohol. Not all homeless people have substance abuse issues, and even if they do, they still deserve respect and compassion.
“It’s Your Fault You’re Homeless.”
If you blame someone for their situation by telling them it’s their fault, it’s never helpful—and often inaccurate. Losing your home can result from a series of unfortunate events, such as job loss, medical emergencies, or domestic violence, and you might make them feel ashamed by saying this.
“Why Don’t You Go to a Shelter?”
While shelters provide essential services, they are not a perfect solution for everyone. Many people avoid shelters due to safety concerns, overcrowding, strict rules, or because they have had negative experiences there in the past. This question can make the person feel judged for their choices without understanding their reasons.
“At Least You’re Not Living in [Insert Worse Place].”
Comparing someone’s suffering to another’s is never a good idea; it diminishes their struggles and invalidates their feelings. Every individual’s experience is unique and challenging in its own way. Instead of making comparisons, offer a listening ear and show empathy for their specific situation.
“I’ve Had Hard Times, Too.”
You might intend to relate to their situation by saying you’ve had struggles too, but this comment can come off as dismissive. The hardships faced by homeless people are often on a different scale, involving a lack of basic necessities and safety.
“You Should Have Planned Better.”
Hindsight is always 20/20, and suggesting that someone could have prevented their situation implies that they are solely to blame. Many people experiencing life on the streets have faced unforeseeable circumstances and issues that are simply beyond their control.
“You’re Not Trying Hard Enough.”
Telling a homeless person that they’re not trying hard enough to get off the streets is not only harsh but also often inaccurate. Many homeless people are making tremendous efforts to improve their situation despite significant obstacles; they might be job hunting, seeking medical care, or trying to access social services.
“Can’t Your Family Help You?”
Family dynamics are complex, and not everyone has a supportive family to turn to. Some people might have strained relationships or their families might not be in a position to help. Therefore, asking them whether their family can help them can bring up painful memories or feelings of shame.
“How Did You End Up Here?”
It’s natural to be curious; but this question can feel intrusive and judgmental, as homeless people often have to repeatedly explain their situation, which can be emotionally draining. Instead of asking for their life story, show that you care by offering support and listening if they choose to share.
“Aren’t You Scared?”
Pointing out the dangers of their situation isn’t helpful and can increase their anxiety, so don’t ask them if they’re afraid. People without a home are very aware of the risks they face, and they’d rather hear words of encouragement than have the dangers pointed out.
“You’re So Lucky to Be Free of Responsibilities.”
If you tell a homeless person they’re lucky to have no responsibilities, it’s not only insensitive but also wildly inaccurate. They face daily challenges that most of us can’t imagine, including a lack of security, stability, and basic necessities. Framing their situation as “freedom” from responsibilities trivializes their hardships.
“What’s Wrong With You?”
If you want to ask an incredibly hurtful question, ask someone living on the street what’s wrong with them. It suggests that the person’s situation is a result of a flaw or defect in them, personally; homelessness is usually due to a combination of unfortunate circumstances and systemic failures, not personal failings.
“I Don’t Have Time to Talk.”
Even if you’re busy, a quick acknowledgment or a kind word can mean a lot; homeless people often feel invisible and ignored by society, after all. Taking a moment to show that you see and care about them can make a significant difference in their day.
“You’re Better Off Than Some People.”
Comparative statements are never helpful, so try to avoid telling them that they’re in a better situation than others. This minimizes the person’s struggles and makes them feel that their pain is being dismissed. Every person’s experience of homelessness is difficult in its own way, after all.
“You Should Have Saved Money.”
One final thing you should never say to a homeless person is “You should have saved money.” This comment is not only impractical but also judgmental; many people living paycheck to paycheck are one unexpected expense away from homelessness.
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