20 Traits That Are Probably Keeping You Feeling Lonely

Written By Lisa Marley

There are many reasons why someone might feel lonely. Understanding some traits that could be keeping you in this rut is the first step to feeling better. Here’s a simple look at 20 reasons why you might feel lonely sometimes.

Not Sharing Your Feelings

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Not sharing your feelings with others can make us feel lonely. Talking about how we feel can help us feel connected. Wondermind says that this is a great way to strengthen the friendships we already have; starting by sharing something little with a friend can slowly help you feel less alone.

Staying Home Too Much

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If you stay home a lot, you might start feeling isolated. Try to go out more, as even a short walk in the park or a trip to the mall can help. Being around other people, even if you don’t talk to them, can make you feel less alone.

Being Too Negative

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If you always think negatively, you can push people away and feel lonely, so try to be more positive. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, try to change it to something positive. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” think, “I’ll try my best.”

Not Joining Groups

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Joining a club or a group can be a great way to meet people and feel less lonely. VeryWell Mind says you can find groups like this in local papers or online. Being part of a group can give you a sense of belonging.

Fearing Rejection

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Being scared of rejection can stop you from trying to make friends with others. Remember, everyone faces rejection sometimes—it’s a part of life, so don’t let the fear of someone saying no stop you from making connections wherever you can.

Not Trusting Others

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If you find it hard to trust people, you might end up feeling lonely. Building trust takes time, but if you start small, you can build on it. Try sharing something with someone and see how it goes then, as trust builds, you might feel more connected.

Not Listening

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Sometimes, not listening to others can impact your friendship with them. Make sure when someone is talking to you, you really listen. If they pick up on your not paying attention, they might conclude you’re not genuine and stop being your friend.

Overthinking

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Overthinking can make you feel stuck and lonely. Instead of overthinking, try doing something to snap you out of it. It can be as simple as calling a friend or getting stuck into a new hobby. Being active can help you stop overthinking and feel less lonely.

Setting Unrealistic Goals

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Setting goals that are too high and unrealistic can lead to disappointment and loneliness, so try setting smaller, achievable goals. When you reach them, you’ll feel good and less alone because you’ll see you can do things well.

Spending Too Much Time on Social Media

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While social media lets us see what others are up to, spending too much time on it might make you feel like you’re not really part of anything. Mind states that not having friends can have a huge impact on loneliness. Real-life interactions will always make you feel more included and less lonely.

Not Having a Routine

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Not having a daily routine can make you feel lost and lonely. Creating a simple routine that includes time for work, play, rest, and occasional socializing is important; a routine that includes other people can help you feel more grounded and connected.

Always Saying No

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If you always say no to invitations or new experiences, you might end up feeling left out and missing out on other invites. Try saying yes more often, even if you’re a bit nervous. It could lead to fun times and new friendships.

Waiting for Others to Reach Out

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If you’re always waiting for others to make the first move, you might end up feeling lonely. Be brave and reach out to someone first. You might be surprised by how happy they are that you did. You never know who else is feeling lonely, too.

Not Being Yourself

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If you’re not being true to yourself, you might feel like you’re not really making authentic friendships with others. It’s more fulfilling to be yourself because, usually

people can tell when you’re genuine, and it can make them want to be around you more.

Holding Grudges

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Holding onto past hurts can make you lonely because it prevents you from making new friends. Try to forgive people and let go of grudges. This can free you up to talk to new people, which should lead to you feeling less lonely.

Not Making Efforts in Relationships

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Relationships need effort from both sides. If you’re not putting in enough effort, you might find yourself feeling distant from others. Try to take small steps to show you care. It can make a big difference in how connected you feel.

Lacking Empathy

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If you find it hard to understand or share others’ feelings, you might feel lonely or isolated. Try to really think about how others might be feeling and let them know you understand. This can help you build stronger, more connected relationships and friendships.

Avoiding Eye Contact

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Not looking people in the eye can make you seem uninterested or distant. Try to make eye contact when you’re talking to someone to show you’re listening and that you care. This can help you feel more connected.

Being Afraid of Being Alone

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Being scared of being alone can actually make you feel lonelier. Try to enjoy your own company sometimes. Doing things you like alone, like reading a book or watching a movie, or taking yourself out for a meal, can help you feel more comfortable in your own company.

Depending Too Much on Others

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Relying too much on others for your happiness can make you feel lonely when they’re not around. Harley Therapy warns that you can even get to the point where you rely on them for your self-worth. Try to find happiness in things you do by yourself.

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