Having a relationship with an introverted person can be challenging but also highly rewarding. The key to a healthy relationship is understanding your partner’s needs. Here are 21 ways to make being in a relationship with an introvert work.
Understand That They Need Space
Introverts recharge by spending time alone, so it’s important to allow space for this in the relationship. According to Truity, social interaction produces dopamine, and introverts need less dopamine than extroverts. Find out how much alone time your partner needs, and create safe spaces where they can go without being disturbed.
Plan Social Outings Carefully
Having too many social events might overwhelm an introverted partner. Include them in planning, don’t pack too many outings close together, and ask how often they’re comfortable going out, respecting their preferences.
Avoid PDAs
For many introverts, PDAs (public displays of affection) are uncomfortable. Find out how comfortable your partner is with showing affection in public, and try to compromise on how much physical affection you show them. It’s all about helping your partner feel safe and understood.
Listen Carefully
You can form a deep connection with your introverted partner by listening to them carefully. Since introverts may struggle to speak openly, ensure them you won’t interrupt. Talk about things they love to help them feel at ease.
Communicate Clearly
Introverts can get burnt out with too much talking. If you want to get a message across, use clear, direct communication over small talk. For complex or emotional topics, ask if they prefer written communication.
Respect Their Privacy
Personal space and privacy are extremely important to introverted people. They need to feel safe, with clear boundaries in place. It can be hard for the partners of introverted people not to take this personally, but you should try to respect their decision not to share things until they are ready.
Be Patient With Their Social Energy
One of the most well-known traits of introverted people is that they need time alone, so don’t get frustrated with this. Learn to recognize the signs that your partner is starting to feel overwhelmed, and allow them to leave social situations without making them feel guilty.
Let Them Have Their Own Hobbies
Your introverted partner might enjoy hobbies that don’t include you. Support them by encouraging their interests rather than feeling jealous. Join in these activities only if they invite you.
Avoid Surprises
It’s likely that you’re already aware that your introverted partner doesn’t like surprises. Introverts can find unexpected events stressful, even if they are planned with the best intentions. Discuss any plans, and changes to plans, with your partner, and give as much warning as possible.
Celebrate Their Strengths
Make sure to actively celebrate the positive traits your introverted partner brings to your relationship. The BBC points out that introverts have high levels of empathy and form strong personal connections, meaning you likely have a very caring and considerate partner.
Include Them in Decisions
If you’re deciding something that will involve your introverted partner, make sure to include them in all steps of the decision-making process. You may find that your partner requires more time to think things through than you, so allow for this extra time without getting frustrated.
Learn Their Love Language
Learning your partner’s love language is one of the best ways to make them feel seen. Find out how your partner receives love best – this could be through acts of service, quality time, gift-giving, physical touch, or words of affirmation. Using their love language will make your relationship more fulfilling.
Minimize Social Pressure
Understand that your introverted partner will not enjoy high-pressure social situations, and avoid exposing them to these events unless completely necessary. In these types of intense social scenarios, you should make it clear to your partner that you’ve got their back and that you will support them however needed.
Offer Consistent Reassurance
In relationships, introverts may feel like they are a burden to you, so it is important to offer strong reassurance that this is not the case. Make sure to be vocal about how much you appreciate their personality and unique qualities – don’t just presume that they know how you feel!
Encourage Social Interaction on Their Terms
Introverts do often enjoy social interactions, it’s just important that they are not too overwhelming. To make sure that you and your partner can enjoy social activities together, try planning small gatherings with close friends rather than large parties.
Enjoy Quiet Moments Together
Medium says that “silence can be the sign of a strong relationship”. These quiet moments still offer an opportunity to bond with your introverted partner, and this might be when they feel most at ease. Find activities that you can do together that don’t require constant talking, such as reading or drawing.
Allow Them to Initiate
Don’t always force your ideas and conversations onto your introverted partner. Give them the space to initiate conversations and activities themselves. You may need to recognize that your partner will take longer to initiate, but that this doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you.
Be Their Safe Space
Being a safe space is one of the most valuable things you can offer your introverted partner. Let your partner know that they can be themselves around you without judgment, and don’t give them a hard time if they are acting more withdrawn.
Handle Conflicts Gently
Myers-Briggs points out that introverts tend to withdraw from conflicts so it’s best to avoid putting pressure on your partner. Resolve disagreements by trying to understand each other’s perspectives, not through confrontation.
Build a Group of Mutual Friends
Your introverted partner may not feel comfortable hanging out with a group of your friends. So, why not consider building a strong group of mutual friends? This way, you can all spend time together, and your partner will feel more relaxed.
Encourage Their Independence
It can feel hard when a partner wants a lot of independence from your relationship; however, when it comes to having an introverted partner, allowing this freedom is key to a healthy partnership. Celebrate your partner’s achievements, and encourage activities that are separate from your relationship.
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