Being socially skilled is helpful for meaningful relationships, both personally and professionally. Whether you’re an introvert wanting to be more confident in social settings or someone looking to polish their social prowess, these are 17 practical ways to improve your social skills.
Maintain Eye Contact
Eye contact is a powerful non-verbal communication tool, and, according to Indeed, it “can be an important form of respect in workplace conversations, meetings and job interviews” specifically. It shows confidence and interest in the conversation. When talking to someone, aim to maintain eye contact about 60–70% of the time.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening means truly paying attention to what the other person is saying, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak, and it involves nodding, making eye contact, and providing feedback like “I see” or “That’s interesting.” By focusing on the speaker, you show that you value their words, making them feel heard.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Asking open-ended questions encourages more detailed responses and keeps the conversation engaging, so instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” try questions like “What do you think about…?” or “How did you feel when…?” These types of questions invite the other person to share more about their experiences.
Work on Your Body Language
Non-verbal cues play a significant role in how others perceive you; positive body language includes smiling, nodding, and maintaining an open posture. Avoid crossing your arms or looking at your phone while someone is talking to you. These actions can make you seem disinterested or closed off.
Practice Empathy
The ability to understand and share the feelings of others—empathy—involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and responding with kindness and understanding. To practice empathy, listen carefully to what the other person is saying, and acknowledge their feelings.
Be Mindful of Your Tone
The way you say something can be just as important as what you say. Your tone of voice conveys emotions and intentions; a friendly, warm tone can make you seem approachable and kind, while a harsh or monotone voice might come off as indifferent or unkind. Practice varying your tone to match the mood.
Develop a Sense of Humor
A good sense of humor can break the ice and make social interactions more enjoyable, but it’s not about being a comedian; it’s about finding and sharing moments of light-heartedness. Pay attention to funny situations and stories—and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
Improve Your Storytelling Skills
Being able to tell a good story can captivate an audience and make you more engaging. Focus on structuring your stories with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Include vivid details and emotions to make your story come alive, and practice telling your stories in a way that keeps people interested.
Expand Your Interests
If you have a wide range of interests, it gives you more topics to discuss with others; therefore, try exploring new hobbies, reading different genres of books, or learning about current events. The more knowledgeable you are about various subjects, the easier it will be to find common ground.
Get Comfortable with Small Talk
Small talk might seem trivial, but it’s an essential social skill; it’s there to build rapport and can lead to deeper conversations. Practice making small talk by asking about the other person’s day, commenting on the weather, or discussing recent news.
Join Social Groups or Clubs
You can also improve your social skills by joining clubs or groups with shared interests; this is a great way to meet new people and practice. Whether it’s a sports team, book club, or volunteer organization, being part of a group gives you regular opportunities to interact with others in a low-pressure setting.
Practice Assertiveness
Assertiveness is about expressing your thoughts and feelings respectfully and confidently; it’s furthermore a balance between being passive and aggressive. Practice stating your opinions and needs clearly and respectfully, without being pushy—and remember, assertiveness helps you stand up for yourself.
Observe and Learn from Others
You’ll also want to pay attention to how socially skilled people interact, including trying to notice their body language, tone of voice, and how they handle different situations. By observing others, you can pick up on effective techniques and incorporate them into your own interactions.
Be Genuine
Authenticity is key to building strong relationships, and people can usually tell when someone is being fake or insincere. Be yourself and share your true thoughts and feelings, because genuine interactions create trust and make people more comfortable around you.
Manage Social Anxiety
If you struggle with social anxiety, you’re not alone. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and take steps to manage them. Deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk can help calm your nerves, and gradually exposing yourself to social situations and setting achievable goals can also build your confidence.
Give and Receive Compliments
Compliments can brighten someone’s day and create a positive connection, so it’s great to lead with one if you’re feeling nervous. Practice giving sincere compliments that are specific and meaningful; for example, instead of saying “You look nice,” try “I love the color of your dress; it really suits you.”
Be Patient with Yourself
Finally, be patient with yourself, as improving social skills is a gradual process. Give yourself credit for the progress you make, celebrate small victories, and don’t be too hard on yourself for any setbacks. Remember, everyone has off days.
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