18 Ways to respond to someone who’s being condescending to you

Written By Lisa Marley

Sometimes, we find ourselves in less-than-ideal social situations, like when someone talks down to you. But what is the right move in these moments? Here are 18 ways you can respond to someone who’s being condescending to you.

Remain Calm

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The first reaction to someone being rude may be anger or frustration. However, reacting this way will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Take a breath, stay calm, and step back for a few moments to yourself so that you can stay in control of the situation.

Pause Before Responding

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Giving yourself a few moments before responding allows you to collect your thoughts and also assess the situation. It reduces the chances of you reacting impulsively and making the situation worse.

Acknowledge the Tone

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Some people aren’t aware when they are being condescending, and the best tactic to use in this case is to call attention to the tone. The People Mentor states that by drawing attention to the tone, you are non-aggressively putting a stop to the behavior.

Set Boundaries

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A key to starting and maintaining healthy relationships is having clearly set boundaries. Boundaries let people know what behavior you do and don’t accept. Setting up boundaries from the start of a relationship reduces the chances of running into incidents such as these.

Redirect the Conversation

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When the tone of a conversation becomes condescending, it’s more than likely that the conversation as a whole will take a turn in the negative direction. To stop this from happening, change the topic to a more positive or neutral one.

Use Humor

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The best way to respond to a condescending tone? A good sense of humor. Humor is an effective way to disarm the situation and lighten the mood at the same time. Just be sure not to come off as defensive or passive-aggressive, or else using humor might backfire on you!

Show You’re Uncomfortable

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When a person’s tone towards you or others really affects you, you can always let them know how uncomfortable they’re making you feel. This will both call attention to their behavior and help them understand that it isn’t right.

Ask for Clarification

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Senior Voice suggests that another non-confrontational way of handling a condescending tone is by asking for clarification on what the other person is saying. Giving the person another chance to explain themselves will reduce the chances of a misunderstanding.

State Facts

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Facts are the best defense in the face of a condescending remark that uses either incorrect information or an assumption. Respond to disrespectful comments with truth and factual information.

Empathize

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Using empathy in response to a nasty tone can diffuse any tension that might exist while also allowing room for understanding. Acknowledge and accept the other person’s point of view, even if you don’t accept it. It will make you look like a bigger person in the long run.

Use “I” Statements

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In situations of tension, try avoiding using phrases that could be seen as aggressive, such as “You’re being condescending.” Instead, use phrases based on your perception of things so that the other person in the conversation doesn’t feel triggered.

Express Confidence

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When someone makes a negative remark directed at you, it’s more often than not said with the intention of undermining your confidence. By showing that you’re comfortable in your own skin, you are letting them know that whatever they say isn’t going to work.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

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When someone makes a short-sighted but malicious comment, another good way to handle it is by responding with curiosity. HCA Mag suggests asking them an open-ended question so that they can further discuss their thoughts and feelings.

Avoid Passive-Aggressiveness

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One thing that you should definitely avoid when caught in a situation where someone is being condescending is a reaction of passive-aggressiveness. By being passive-aggressive, you are not doing anything to resolve the situation. If anything, you are just making it worse.

Seek Support

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In the cases where this isn’t the first time that this person has been condescending to you, then it might be worth getting some help, especially if you have to deal with this person on a regular basis.

Offer Feedback

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If you have the charisma and if it’s appropriate, another way to deal with a condescending tone is to offer feedback on it. In this case, it’s best to be specific about what behavior exactly affected you and why.

Focus on Solutions

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Instead of focusing on the negative social situation in which you are currently in, you can help resolve the situation by focusing on whatever issue has prompted it. You can prevent similar situations from happening in the future by doing so.

Know When to Walk Away

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When all else has failed, or the other person in the conversation is too much to handle, Very Well Mind says that sometimes the best and only thing left to do is to walk away from the situation. After all, your mental wellbeing is worth far more than any social interaction.

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