Discovering that your child is being bullied is absolutely heartbreaking. Many parents don’t find out until the bullying has been ongoing for a while because children usually hide what’s happening to them. However, there are many tell-tale signs. Here are 18 ways to tell if your child is being bullied at school.
They’re Withdrawn
When a child is being bullied, they often try to emotionally protect themselves by completely withdrawing from life. They try not to be seen or heard in case it provokes others to pick on them. They’ll also start to withdraw from family life because they’re so miserable and struggle to find happiness in anything.
They Experience Mood Swings
Bullying sends children into emotional turmoil because they don’t know how to handle it. According to the National Institutes of Health, bullying causes victims to feel unaccepted, isolated, and angry. These massive emotions manifest as seemingly random mood swings, with children often snapping at their parents.
They Have Unexplained Cuts and Bruises
Sadly, it doesn’t take much for verbal bullying to become physical. Bullies try to control and dominate their victims by physically harming them as a scare tactic. The victim doesn’t speak up because they’re terrified of being hurt worse, so they hide cuts and bruises or lie to their parents about where they came from.
They Cry More
All children do and should cry, but a significant increase in crying indicates something’s wrong. Bullying victims frequently develop depression in response to the pain and trauma they’re suffering, but they feel they can’t confide in anyone. Instead, they cry more, which is a sign they need serious help and support.
They Don’t Want to Go to School
Nobody wants to go somewhere knowing they’ll be hurt there, so don’t be so quick to call your child obstinate for refusing to go to school. If they previously loved school or never made a fuss about going, question why they’ve suddenly changed their mind. They often try to prevent bullying by completely removing themselves.
Their Belongings are Damaged
Physical bullying doesn’t just mean hitting or kicking the victim. It also means damaging, stealing, or destroying their belongings as a way to humiliate or punish them. Torn or dirty clothes or books, broken jewelry, and smashed electronics are all signs that somebody is physically bullying your child.
Their Grades are Slipping
Bullying is strongly associated with a decline in academic progress. Research by UCLA found that bullied students receive poorer grades and participate less in class discussions. High-achieving students are often bullied for their success, so they stop trying, whereas others are too stressed to make an effort in school.
They’re Not Eating Properly
Our appetites are linked to our emotions, so a child who is upset, anxious, stressed, or upset will not want to eat. Some students are bullied for how they look, so if someone says cruel things about their weight, they may eat less to counteract that. Either way, it’s a cause for concern.
They Don’t Sleep Well
Sleep patterns also change in response to stress, so bullied children often find it harder to fall asleep and frequently experience nightmares. They might also stay up late worrying about what will happen at the school the next day. This has a negative impact on their concentration, memory, and energy levels.
They Constantly Make Up Illnesses
Parents are quick to chastise children for pretending to be ill to bunk off school, but they don’t realize it’s a sign their child is being bullied. If refusing to go to school isn’t enough, children fake illness to buy themselves time. Some are even desperate enough to hurt themselves to avoid going in.
They Hate Being Alone
Bullies usually target victims when they’re alone because it means nobody is around to alert a teacher or step in themselves. As a result, bullied children try to be alone as little as possible. They attach themselves fiercely to their friends or teachers, refuse to walk to school alone, and rush home quickly afterward.
They Start Bullying Their Siblings
Unfortunately, many bullied children become bullies themselves. According to Verywell Family, this is because they want to assert power and control over others to avoid becoming the victim again. If you notice random outbursts of anger or violence from one child towards their siblings, school bullying could be the cause.
They’re Evasive
Bullies regularly threaten victims that they’ll experience consequences if they ever tell anybody what’s going on, and this intimidation tactic works. Children become evasive and avoid answering questions about school. If you press them further, they might shout at you to stop your questions.
They Stop Hanging Out With Friends
Sometimes, children’s bullies are their friends. If your child suddenly withdraws from their friendship group, try to find out why. They might be being bullied by the other kids. Victims avoid socializing, especially if it means interacting with their bullies. Don’t push your child to make friends again until you have all the facts.
They Won’t Ride the Bus
School bullying often happens on the bus before children even get to school, so many victims refuse to get on and try to walk instead. The bus is the easiest way for them to get to school, so if they refuse to use it, they’re likely terrified of being targeted without any way to escape.
They Wet the Bed
Most children stop wetting the bed after age 7, but being put under immense stress can cause them to revert to it. Psychological stress causes them to lose control of their bladders at night, which is humiliating and can cause parents to become angry. However, this regression is a huge cause for concern.
They Have Low Self-Esteem
Bullies love belittling their victims and destroying their confidence, and there’s no quick fix. Psychology Today warns that feelings of low self-worth start in childhood, often due to a poor school environment. If you notice that your child speaks badly about themselves, you must get to the bottom of what’s causing their poor self-esteem.
They Don’t Seem to Enjoy Anything Anymore
Even if bullying only happens in school, it stays with the victim at all times. Their home and social lives suffer, they stop achieving as much, and they struggle to find joy in anything. When your child’s personality drastically changes, something has happened. If they’re being bullied, they desperately need your help.