17 Ways You Can Spot a Narcissist From a Mile Away

Written By Dave Spencer

Identifying a narcissist can be a challenging task, especially when they present themselves in a charming and charismatic manner. However, there are certain behaviors and traits that can give away their true nature. Here are 17 recognizable signs to help you identify and avoid a narcissist.

Lacking Empathy

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Because they are unable to understand or relate to others’ feelings, they seriously struggle with genuine empathy. They may be unsympathetic or uncaring, with no regard for others’ emotions. NCBI states, “Empathy represents a key point in detecting people affected by narcissistic personality disorder.”

Master Manipulator

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Narcissists are skilled at influencing others to achieve their own ends. They often use guilt, anger, or self-pity to control those around them. Be cautious of people who consistently try to manipulate others for their own gain. They may use their charm or charisma to get what they want, but ultimately, their goal is to exploit others for their own benefit.

Grandiose Storyteller

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They will often exaggerate their accomplishments or fabricate stories to gain admiration. They may talk at length about their successes, claiming to have achieved more than they actually have. They may also embellish their credentials or accomplishments to impress others or gain an advantage. This behavior is often a sign of insecurity and a need for validation.

Emotional Vampire

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Due to their constant need for attention and affirmation, they drain the energy of those around them. A narcissist may be overly dramatic, needy, or demanding, leaving others feeling exhausted or drained. They will suck the room dry of energy with their attempts to get attention and sympathy from others.

Inconsistent Liar

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They often come up short when it comes to telling the truth, and their stories may change frequently. They may deny previous statements or actions or blame others for their own mistakes. Be wary of those who consistently lie or seem to have a loose grip on reality. This behavior is extremely damaging to relationships and may lead to feelings of distrust and betrayal.

Charming Deceiver

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They are able to use their charm to deceive others, making false promises or pretending to be someone they’re not. They may be overly flattering, so be wary of people who seem too good to be true or are overly charming. They might say just about anything to get the right outcome, regardless of the consequences.

Know-it-all

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Narcissists often have an inflated sense of their own intelligence or expertise. They may belittle others or act as if they are the only ones who know what’s best. Narcissists are known to act consistently superior or relentlessly dismiss others’ opinions. They may also use their arrogance to manipulate others or get what they want.

Rule Breaker

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Often with a total disregard for rules, narcissists believe they are above the law. They may show signs of totally reckless behavior or an utter disregard for the feelings of others. It could be someone who continuously goes against the rules or disrespects authority for no real reason. They’re normally adept at using their charm to get away with breaking rules or pushing boundaries.

Blame Shifter

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It is common for them to shift the blame for their own mistakes onto others. They may deny responsibility or claim that others are at fault. Be wary of those who constantly blame others for their own errors. They may also use blame-shifting to manipulate others or avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Emotional Abuser

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Narcissists often use emotional abuse to control or manipulate others. They may use insults, put-downs, or condescending language to belittle others. They may also use emotional abuse to make others feel bad about themselves or to gain power and control. This behavior can be emotionally damaging and leave their victims with feelings of low self-esteem and anxiety.

Self-absorbed

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All too often, they are preoccupied with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. They may be overly concerned with their appearance or talk excessively about themselves. Help Guide says, “Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due.”

Envious of Others

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Easily rattled by others’ successes or accomplishments, their deep-rooted insecurities make them easily envious. They may belittle or criticize others to make themselves feel better. They may also use envy to motivate themselves to achieve more, but this can lead to an unhealthy obsession with competition and a lack of empathy for others.

Rageful

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Narcissists are prone to having a short fuse and becoming enraged when things don’t go their way. They are much more likely to have outbursts or use anger to control others. Verywell Mind highlights how “narcissistic rage can be active or passive, with corresponding outward or inward signs of the problem.”

Gaslighter

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It is common for narcissists to use gaslighting to manipulate others, making them question their own sanity or memory. They may deny previous statements or actions, or they may tell others that they’re overreacting. Be cautious of people who consistently make others feel uncertain or doubt themselves. They can effectively use gaslighting to control others or get what they want.

False Friend

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Narcissists often form fake friendships or alliances to further their own personal interests. They may use any tricks up their sleeves, such as being overly complimentary or charming to gain others’ trust, but have no intention of reciprocating a friendship or fulfilling their promises. Be cautious of people who appear to consistently use others for their own gain.

Disrespectful

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Narcissists can often be dismissive, condescending, or rude, with no regard for others’ emotions. Medium says it’s due to a narcissist’s low self-esteem: “If people feel good about themselves, they’ll treat other people well, and if they feel bad about themselves, they’ll treat other people poorly.”

Vindictive

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They often seek revenge or punishment when they feel wronged. A narcissist may hold grudges or engage in retaliatory behavior, fixated on revenge, with no regard for the consequences. Vindictive behavior is a clear sign to be wary of someone and to stay far away from their relentless battle to reign supreme.

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